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Viagra, Cialis, Levitra
Being Rush LimbaughBy Judi McLeod
Thursday, June 29, 2006
My spam mail is dominated by ads for Viagra. "Cheap Viagra" "Cialis Levitra" are the words that flash by me as I reach for the delete button,
Sometimes the Viagra squad throws a bit of philosophy your way "A man in love is a fool, and an old man in love is the greatest fool of all. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
The whole world, it seems is into Viagra.
The romantic days of Rudolph Valentino and his dark eyes to swoon for are ghosts of the past. The days of being old at 40 have come to stay.
It's not barroom boasts of prowess in the boudoir, or even the fine art of seduction anymore.
Passion, like everything else, has gone plastic. But they never put it that way in the ads.
With everybody on Viagra, who wants to kiss and tell?
Tittering tattletales at international airports, when they catch radio giant Rush Limbaugh, that's who.
Caught with "Cialis Levitra" in his luggage on the way back from the Dominican Republic at Palm Beach International Airport, held for three hours but never charged, Mr. Rush got rushed into the news by smarmy little guys who get to take their Viagra secrets all the way to the grave.
As Radio's number one personality, Rush didn't think to hide his Viagra pills in an aspirin tin, like his detractors surely would have done.
An icon of the right, lefties would be gunning for the great Rush everywhere, even when he was in back-from-vacation relax mode.
For the tell-it-all enemy, Rush is big game.
It's not as if a Hillary Clinton or a Nancy Pelosi could sneak his diary off a bedside table, where Rush only keeps copies of the Bible and books like Help! Mom! There's a Liberal Under My Bed! And Rush doesn't wear a toupee.
They wouldn't dare to make fun of his hearing problems. That would be too politically incorrect.
Straight as the proverbial arrow, and rumoured to be even something of a womanizer, there's not much gossip in the romantic department about Rush Limbaugh, no blue dress stuff.
Skeletons in Rushes' closet don't get to hang in the back with the musty clothes; they're dragged out to dance happy jigs on the blogosphere.
If airport authorities had clocked any other Romeo with Viagra in their luggage, there would be no news to leak.
But Rush Limbaugh is "that capitalist pig Rush Limbaugh".
So the guy who coined the term "FemiNazis" would be open game for politically correct malcontents.
Lefties and their running dogs would go to most any length to embarrass Limbaugh. How many of their heroes smile at you from behind their latest dose of Botox?
How many are kept forever young courtesy of expensive plastic surgery?
How many stars in the Liberal media steal svelte from girdles that would smother a hippo, hide growing hair plants under their toupees?
So Rush Limbaugh had a bottle of Viagra apparently prescribed to someone else in his socks and bvds. He later joked on his popular radio show that the pills came from the Clinton Library and he was told they were blue M&Ms,
Meanwhile, we don't know what Viagra's done for Rush Limbaugh, but we do know what Rush has done for Viagra. Now that Rush has been caught with it, Viagra sales are bound to soar.
There goes Rush Limbaugh, a capitalist even when coming off vacation,
Canada Free Press founding editor Most recent by Judi McLeod is an award-winning journalist with 30 years experience in the print media. Her work has appeared on Newsmax.com, Drudge Report, Foxnews.com, Glenn Beck. Judi can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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