HE IS SPEAKING AT THE CONVENTION TONIGHT
Debbie Whatshername Schultz Declares There is a God…….
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A Hugh Betcha Exclusive—Satire
It was mass confusion at the Democrat National Convention this week as the Democrats struggled over the troubling issue as to whether they should recognize God in their platform.
After several voice votes—the outcome of which was anything but clear—the chairman slammed down his gavel and declared that the ayes have it and that, remarkably, God would be—if reluctantly—included in the party’s platform. And Hugh Betcha, Ace Reporter for Stoos Views International Media Conglomerate and Head of the Stoos Views Political Bureau—winner of the CNN Reporter of the Decade Award—was there.
Spotting Debbie Whatshername Schultz, Chairwoman of the National Democrat Party, Hugh thrust a microphone into her face and asked a question that was on the minds of many.
“Why the confusion over one little word? What was the problem with simply acknowledging a divine presence in the universe?” asked Hugh.
“Well, as a politically correct, secular humanist, socialist party who believes in the supremacy of Mankind, it is a little uncomfortable acknowledging there is a ‘God’ so to speak,” said Schultz. “Makes us sound like a bunch of religious zealots, you know.”
“What tipped the scale in favor of mentioning God?” Hugh inquired.
“Well, we decided we were mistaken. There is indeed a God after all,” replied the Chairwoman. “He is speaking to the convention tonight.”
© 2012 William Kevin Stoos