And so it was settled. Anything a Republican says in English is racist
It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It
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Congressman Jim Clyburn went even further. “The entire English language was created by slaveowners as a means of oppression. You can’t just say that one word is a racist code word or another. The whole language, every single word, letter and apostrophe in it is racist. It’s a fact. If you speak English, you’re a racist.”
Democrats rushed to conduct conference calls over this new development worried about the consequences of continuing to use the racist English language. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was reportedly taking Spanish lessons from Mayor Bloomberg in preparation for the Democratic Party’s shift to conducting all business in broken Spanish.
Hope was however restored when Congressman Clyburn was lured out of his mansion with an offer of a 3 million dollar grant to a museum of basket weaving in his name, and was persuaded to clarify his remarks.
“All Republicans is racist,” Congressman Clyburn said, “therefore whenever they use English, they are using it to hiddenly express racist ideas. Whenever they speak, they are speaking entirely in racist code words. But when Democrats like us speak English, we’re using tolerance code words.”
And so it was settled. Anything a Republican says in English is racist. Any racial slur used by a Democrat is however a hidden tolerance code word.
A number of leading establishment Republicans, however, have suggested that this represents an opportunity for their party to embrace the future by switching to Spanish.