Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all faithful readers – unfaithful ones also. And since plants rarely thrive for the politically correct, a nice salad of holly, ivy, azalea and mistletoe for those poor lost souls.
Before settling down to some seasonal cheer, there are chores awaiting out there.
Rhododendrons and other broad-leaf evergreens can succumb to too much sun overwinter while drying out under blasts of frigid wind. Drive three two-by-two stakes in to form a triangular enclosure and staple burlap around them. Some knowledgeable gardeners like to fill these with oak leaves for further protection. These can be left in spring as a superior acidic mulch.
Every ten years or so, the weather wonks say, we can expect heavy wet snow. At even greater intervals, freezing rain can occur. Both play havoc with upright junipers, cedars and similar conifers. A wrap of plastic netting is insurance that some invest in. Mighty are the moans of those who forgo such protection following such inclement climatic conditions.
Our feathered friends will delight in bird feeders and baths. Lacking toilet training, however, they defecate over the former and into the latter. Then our chirpy chums dine and drink from the same. Ornithologists advise that this is a frequent source of disease. A weekly emptying, cleaning with a weak solution of bleach the refilling should become a regular routine.
A weak bleach solution is the very thing to sterilize plastic pots with prior to storing away. Scrub thoroughly first with a stiff brush and similarly clean clay pots while omitting the bleach. All pottery containers should be stored after drying in a frost-free place. Left to freeze, they will flake and crack.
Clean off all hand tools, sharpen the business end and wipe down all metal parts with an oily rag. Again, hang up in a dry, frost-free place until next spring.
Time to turn those twitching green thumbs indoors.
Happiness is houseplants – lots of them. Alas for the person who hasn’t got a pot to plant in. The urge to splurge is inherent in almost everyone. Resist that temptation this time of the year. It is a positively poor time to introduce new specimens. Yes, the seasonal offerings are acceptable but despite blandishments displayed by retailers at every level, forget anything else.
Forget also about fertilizing houseplants: unless in bud or bloom it is not only unnecessary but positively harmful. Light and growing conditions in general being abysmal indoor pants should be encouraged to become dormant.
Place them on diet until next March and cut back on watering also. This does not mean allowing them to become dry to the point of wilting or, worse, death. However, large plants in substantial pots may go several weeks without requiring watering. A moisture meter, available from garden centres for only is an excellent investment here.
When water is required, leave the dribbles to babies. A good soak with warm, root-temperature water is called for. If possible, spritz at least weekly. This cleans foliage of dust while discouraging spider mite, the numero uno pest of indoor plants. Carefully note the use advised here for water. As W. C. Fields observed: “
There were many normal citizens who thought water a pleasant refreshment, never dreaming of its diabolical effects.”
Having created a positive jungle, primitive passions likely arise. Restrain them. Activities invoking Tarzan and Jane are inadvisable even with the drapes drawn. Areca palms, rubber plants, weeping figs and philodendrons are not native to Dark Continent, Hollywood notwithstanding. Besides such activity can seriously damage the plants. There is also the danger of stubbing naked toe against a pot. How do you explain that while attending ER?
Last month, we presented a Pink Flamingo Award to Kathleen Cooper, senior researcher with the Canadian Environmental Law Association. Why, we queried at that time, were there so many disreputable jokes about lawyers, and so few of the same about horticulturists (defined as gardeners with a station wagon)? There is one, at least. A horticulturist, engineer and lawyer arged whose was the oldest profession. The horticulturist claimed the privilege, pointing out that the Lord appointed Adam to tend the Garden of Eden. Ah, but it took an engineer to bring order out of the Chaos that proceeded the Garden, said the engineer. And who do you think created the Chaos, asked the lawyer.
On that note, settle back for Saturnalia, that seasonal celebration from Ancient Rome that commenced on 17 December. It lasted a full week, then came Juvenalia, a day for children. Yes, the Romans were civilized, very civilized. They did without lawyers.
