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Algor and the word of God, Global warming

Excerpts from the Book of Moron


By —— Bio and Archives--June 17, 2009

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imageAnd lo it came to pass that in the last month of the last year of the second millennium, God sent Algor into the wilderness to receive The Word and bade Algor to write God’s Words in a tome of Truth.  God gave to Algor a terrible vision of melting glaciers, of oceans rising to inundate great cities, of storms raging across the land in the expression of God’s True Wrath.

“Why, O Lord, are you choosing to punish mankind with such terrible plagues, causing the land to heat, the ice caps to melt and the oceans to drown all mankind?” Algor asked God.  And in the terrible silence that ensued God gave Algor a vision of the Truth.  Mankind was sinning against the land, flouting the laws of God by purchasing Ichor from the Hamites and thus enriching them beyond their dreams.  And taking that Ichor, which the Hamites squeezed from the bowels of Mother Gaia like so much pus from a festering boil and burning it to power their chariots.  Those chariots spewed forth a multitude of blasphemous sulphur and brimstone, causing the quiet earth ague and fever.

“And lo, Dear God, what must we do to assuage your terrible wrath?” Algor asked of God.  And God replied in a thunderous voice, “Go forth unto the multitudes and spread the word of my wrath so that man will atone for his terrible sins against the Mother Earth!  Tell all that you meet in your wanderings across the wasted tracts of wilderness that their God commands them to repent their evil ways.  Cease the use of Ichor that you wastefully procure from the robed Hamites to propel your chariots, lest the seas shall swallow you.  Let darkness reign in the night as I have intended, for he that basks in an abundance of light will soon burn in eternal damnation!”

At these words, Algor fell to his knees in trembling awe and proclaimed to God that His Will be done on His green Earth.

Thus Algor wandered the lands preaching the gospel, the Words of God’s own Truth, warning the multitudes of the Lord’s terrible wrath and chasing the wastrels from their dens of iniquity even as they brought forth ever more powerful and wasteful chariots.

In time Algor was summoned by the Dark Lord Strong to address all the nations of the Earth, who united in spirit, saw that the sinners could be made to pay for their gross transgressions.  The Dark Lord Strong bade each nation to suffer according to their past trespasses against Mother Gaia.  Thus it was determined that the Ameristenes, those who are white of skin, fair of hair and blue of eye should be smitten hardest, as clearly they have transgressed God’s Laws most egregiously.

And the multitudes gathered to atone for their past evils destroying their chariots, so that precious Ichor could be saved, seeking to suffer darkness placidly as their lanterns were given shorter wicks and offering penance in the form of alms to atone for their wasteful ways.  Men sought to harness the wind and the sun to provide warmth and light without the use of Ichor, which had so enriched the Hamites.  The people were made to pay for their sins and for those of their ancestors and for those of their ancestors until Mother Earth, the giver of life and All That Is Good shall be slaked and healed of the ague plaguing her.

For it is written in the book of Moron that if thine dwelling offends the Laws of God, go then into the wilderness amid the roots and dry twigs and let the pain of want cleanse you of your sins.  It is only through penance and suffering that our sins are cleansed and Dear Gaia will once again become whole.  And the people suffered gladly and madly to make it so.

Yet it was also written that a wasteful man might waste as much as his will decrees so long as his waste is offset by the suffering of an innocent.  Thus Algor and the Dark Lord Strong were blessed by God with riches beyond compare as they went forth in the Holy Quest to spread his Sacred Word; both were given more gold and lucre than the Hamites had ever dreamed of burying beneath the sandy floors of their abodes and they used their lucre to ensure that many innocents suffered grievously, even as they seemed to act against the Word of God.  But they had been given Special Dispensations because they were the Vessels of God, who obeyed God’s Will by spreading God’s Word.

Thus the book of Moron concludes that God saw the works of Algor and the Dark Lord Strong as being good and all was well with Mother Earth who healed in placid peace.



Klaus Rohrich -- Bio and Archives | Comments

Klaus Rohrich is senior columnist for Canada Free Press. Klaus also writes topical articles for numerous magazines. He has a regular column on RetirementHomes and is currently working on his first book dealing with the toxicity of liberalism.  His work has been featured on the Drudge Report, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, among others.  He lives and works in a small town outside of Toronto.

Older articles by Klaus Rohrich

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