Faugh ‘a Ballagh to the right royal bride and groom

In case you haven’t noticed there will be a wedding in Britain this coming weekend that has the U.S. Media, which has all but relocated their entire infrastructure to little olde London Towne to cover every moment of the onset of the ceremony uniting in wedlock his Royal Highness William, Duke of York and heir to the Britannic throne, to his longtime paramour and housemate, the stunning Kate Middleton.

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Aside from the fact that William has done his duty to legitimize his extended dalliance with lovely Kate, (making her in the cruel parlance “an honest woman” – not the usual practice of his ancestors who, starting with Henry III, tended to deal harshly with their mistresses, even to the extreme of removing their heads while they were still alive. I guess it was cheaper than paying alimony. Thankfully those days are long since past – replaced I suspect with either handsome payoffs to ex-paramours or a simple “get lost,” or even a continued but hushed-up dalliance. In the case of his Royal Highness, who’ll be but third in line to someday put his bottom on the Stone of Scone which is embedded in the throne, and probably a pain in the countless Royal bottoms who have sat upon it, he’s doing his duty and marrying the lady, making her the future Queen of his shrunken empire. All of this gushing adulation for the couple makes one wonder if the rather violent separation between the former colonies and his Britannic (and Germanic) Majesty, George III actually took place. Years ago, when I worked alongside a horde of British journalists, I helped celebrate America’s Declaration of Independence on a 4th of July by throwing a pile tea bags on the desk of a Brit journalist who had been rash enough to decorate it with the Union Jack, the flag of his native British Isles. It was our version of the Boston Tea Party. Far be it for me to diminish the celebratory nature of the event, but isn’t it a bit much for the natives of a former colony whose patriots shed a lot of blood twice freeing themselves and their progeny from the yoke of jolly olde England to go ape over a royal wedding? From the coverage I have seen thus far, there appears to be no event of more importance than the coming nuptials. If this was football season I suspect whole games would be passed over in favor of the Royal wedding. What other event could have such a dastardly effect on the national honor. Anyway, not wanting to be an old grudge, I’ll wish the happy couple my sincere hope that their marriage will be as happy as possible given the onus of their responsibilities as supreme Lord and Lady of the Realm. That, for one of a proud Irish heritage, is no small thing. Faugh ‘a Ballagh