... or, if you prefer, E, Ey, Hir, Per, Ze, Zir, or whatever I may have missed in my attempt to use a politically-correct gender-neutral verbiage. As you (Ze) may know, it's the new "in-thing," come hell or high water.
The students at Oxford University think that "Ze" is the correct new salutation. As the Huffington Post (HP) claims, at the Wesleyan University (WU), Middletown, Connecticut, the term "Hir" has already been in use for more than a decade. What a comforting thought, a small university leading in the fight for gender-justice.
Just to give you an example of WU's progressiveness, its "AFFIDAVIT OF DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP" has such good admonishments like
How could anyone want to object to such good (and misspelled) intentions?
As the HP explains in more detail, the Oxford University Students Union (OUSU) has denied [that] students are being told to use gender-neutral pronouns such as "ze" rather than "he" or "she". Instead, the OUSU stated clearly:
Please note all the novel terms like "neopronouns," "non-binary identities," or "misgendering" are a bit confusing (at least for me). Even Merriam Webster's dictionary can't keep up with the changing times and provide explanations.
Neopronouns, et al.
Allow me to confess that I find it difficult to keep up with the modern-day correct neopronouns and their proper use in non-"misgendering" language.
For example, how do you reformulate such traditional terms as "SOB" now? And how should I avoid the potential "misgendering" that the Urban Dictionary describes [my underlining] as "When someone states that one is a gender other than one identifies. Misgendering is most common when it comes to transgender individuals, but can happen to cisgender people as well. (Example: being called "Sir" when "Ma'am" is appropriate, etc...)."
And how am I supposed to reformulate such traditional terms as "SOB" now? Even the Oxford Dictionary has no explanation. Would "SOZe," "ZeOB,"or "ZeOZe" suit your ("Zirself") preference?
Or how does one explain now "birds and bees" to the young fry? Perhaps my good friend, the apiarist, has an answer; need to consult with him.
Best thing though might be for me to go back to modern-day kindergarten to learn the right way to explain gender to my grandchildren; will be sending in my application to Ze teacher forthwith.
In the meantime, may I continue to address you with the old standby Hey You, pardon me,
Hey Ze, Buddy!
