Is Repent Now Off the Table?

“Repentance for past crimes is just and easy; but sin-no-more’s a task too hard for mortals…” Sir John Vanbrugh I am caught a bit off balance by the lack of a man marching with a sign “Repent Now, the End is Near.” As long as I saw those signs I took heart that if there was some serious repenting to do, it would certainly take a great deal of time to accomplish, so the end couldn’t really be that near.

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Well it made sense to me anyway. Now, what am I to surmise from this absence of men with sandwich boards, marching about and reminding everyone to make peace with their maker before they enter the afterlife? Just this. Repenting seems to be off the table. Could mankind be so past help hell is our only option? Perhaps we should examine the big picture. Enough United States citizens elected a man President they believed could walk on water. Now they are faced with the reality that the only thing that is walking on water is an oil spill that will probably cover the coastline of our country for years to come and his healing hands are to no avail. Looks like some people were pretty gullible? But you can’t really blame them. After all he marketed himself as a man who could skip across the water, make the oceans recede and change the course of the world. Even make evil bow down and repent when he walked into a room. Oh wait, no, that was our President bowing. Sorry, got confused for a minute there. Okay, so how do we repent stupidity? Not sure. But maybe that’s why the repent sign guy isn’t around. You definitely won’t see any sign guys around the United Nations. No way. They are way past repentance in that vortex of evil. Who hasn’t noticed the similarity between the Security Council and the scene in the Godfather when Don Corleone and his minions are dividing up the territories to make peace? Obvious as a heart attack. The mafia could learn a trick or two from these pillars of society. At least the mob killed its own kind. The U.N. gangsters kill anyone, anywhere, with no discretion. Darfur. Rwanda. Palestine, where now U.N. ambulances are being used to carry out terrorist attacks. Murder Incorporated had nothing over these guys. So maybe that’s it. Americans spend nine billion a year funding the U.N. or approximately 25% of the organization’s budget. And for our money we are partners in crime with some of the most evil warlords on Planet Earth. Hard to argue with the sheer stupidity of that one. For my nine billion dollars, I do not want to see one hungry child. That is a lot of McDonald’s. Anyone see any sandwich boards heading in the direction of the East River? Could be the fact there is so much anti-Semitism now that people would rather attack Israel than North Korea’s aggression against South Korea or Ahmadinijad’s pretty little nuclear bomb? Or peaceniks, you should excuse the expression, trying to break a legal blockade? Could that be why the sign guy has been missing in action? I am struck by the fact that there is simply too much evil and not enough time to do all the necessary repenting for mankind. So who will be around to remind us of all we need to address in the forgiveness department. Perhaps the media. Yes, it is Helen Thomas. She, as the writer of truth and justice, shall use her pencil to write out the words of redemption. Just as soon as she is done writing her anti-Semitic tirade against the Jews on that ancient pad. So much for the objectivity of the press. Perhaps it is Rahm Emanuel whose father served in the Irgun who will remind us it’s time for repenting. Nope, I don’t think he’ll have the time between selling out Israel, court appearances for Bloggo and trying to bribe every politician in sight to go along with the program. And to think they threw Nixon out for the stupid Muskie letter. Small potatoes compared to these Chicago wunderkinds. Maybe Barbra Streisand should record a new rendition of her popular song from Yentl. It can be entitled, “AIPAC, Can You Hear Me?” Ari has asked me, okay, maybe even a bit of nagging, to write a postcard after listening to me howl about the cornucopia of evil spread out on mankind’s table these days. How can one even select one thing to write about? What am I most shocked at? Most appalled by? Most angered over? Tough to say. It leaves me powerless to choose one thing to get worked up about. So much evil, so little time. If I close my eyes I can hear music. Not the music of Elvis Presley, the pathetic Paul McCartney who now looks like the Queen Mum, America’s new arbiter of political conscience or even the music of Your Hit Parade with Gisele McKenzie and Snooky Lanson singing Autumn Leaves. I hear a joyous melody, coming from below my feet. Loud, exuberant singing and revelry. Oh my somebody is happy. No way can this be harps and the voices of the angels. There is some pretty raucous celebrating going on down below. Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here. The gates of Hell are clearly marked and shaking from the happy sounds within. He won, he wasn’t supposed to, so we let our guard down, and he won. Go figure. He did. He knew we would politically correct ourselves out of existence. Smart guy that Satan. I have to peek. Look at all those politicians dancing. Boy, Harry Reid can you rock and roll and dance with the devil? Wait a minute. Just outside the gates I see something. It’s a pile of signs. They say Repent Now The End is Near. I knew they were somewhere. I hope we all find our brains again before the time for repenting is too long past. P.S. don’t bother looking anywhere near Washington D.C. For sure there are no brains there.