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LGBTQ is so Last Year


By —— Bio and Archives--November 30, 2017

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LGBTQ is so Last Year
Given the current state of our culture it is sometimes impossible to tell the difference between real news, fake news, and satire, so for the sake of clarity let me spell it out – the brief article that follows is SATIRE.

Satire: The use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer) is so last year.  LGGBDTTTIQQAAP is where it’s at these days!  (Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Twospirit, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Allies, Pansexual, Polyamorous).  That is the new inclusive acronym designed in an effort to enlighten benighted Canadian school children.  But hey, it’s all about diversity and inclusion, right—so I say why stop there?

The Canadian(s) who came up with the new and improved LGBTQ list are, of course, to be commended for the effort, but in the interest of expanding and glorifying diversity and inclusion I have taken the liberty of adding a few more (sadly ignored) names to the truncated list of identity groups.  To wit:

  • M: Multiple Sexual Identities.  The more the merrier!
  • S: Space Alien.  Let’s not be xenophobic and parochial – tentacle sex anyone?  Free anal probe
  • I: Incestual – straight, queer, whatever.  Keep it in the family.
  • T: Trisexual—e.g. straight, gay, or asexual, depending on time of day and mood.
  • B: Bestiality – things are headed that way in any event, right?
  • U: Unicorn – for those who believe they are a unicorn…or are waiting on surgery to become a unicorn. 
  • D:  Demonics – those who wish to get it on with Beelzebub or whatever…or believe that they are Beelzebub or whatever.  Or are waiting on surgery to become Beelzebub or whatever.

 

Let’s Hear It For LGGBDTTTIQQAAPMSITBUD!  You get the idea – the sky’s the limit!  Feel free to add whatever sexual identity speaks to you.  Which reminds me – add “H” to the list, for those who hear voices telling them what sexual identity to choose. 

LGGBDTTTIQQAAP

 


Jim ONeill -- Bio and Archives | Comments

Born June 4, 1951 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Served in the U.S. Navy from 1970-1974 in both UDT-21 (Underwater Demolition Team) and SEAL Team Two.  Worked as a commercial diver in the waters off of Scotland, India, and the United States.  Worked overseas in the Merchant Marines.  While attending the University of South Florida as a journalism student in 1998 was presented with the “Carol Burnett/University of Hawaii AEJMC Research in Journalism Ethics Award,” 1st place undergraduate division.  (The annual contest was set up by Carol Burnett with money she won from successfully suing a national newspaper for libel).  Awarded US Army, US Navy, South African, and Russian jump wings.  Graduate of NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School, 1970).  Member of Mensa, China Post #1, and lifetime member of the NRA and UDT/SEAL Association.


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