Your new broad coalition is proactively writing a new narrative of safe spaces, microaggressions, dog whistles, snow jobs, institutionalized rapism, and climate denyism
Militant snowflake: new insignia for social justice warrior
By Guest Column -- Oleg Atbashian——Bio and Archives--January 8, 2017
(This darkly sarcastic article comes from a satirical website, The People’s Cube. Don’t be surprised if you find this emblem on college campuses in near future, though, as many of The People’s Cube’s previous spoofs of “progressive” absurdities have since become our daily reality.)
Dear social justice warriors!
You have so outgrown the old hammer and sickle emblem, it’s not even funny. The working class has betrayed you and can no longer be trusted. Your new broad coalition is proactively writing a new narrative of safe spaces, microaggressions, dog whistles, snow jobs, institutionalized rapism, and climate denyism.
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Your community organizers have succeeded in creating a spectacular movement of snowflakes who they hope will one day solidify into an impenetrable iceberg that will sink the Titanic of capitalism. And yet you’re still struggling to create an emblem you could put on your armbands, banners, and social media icons. We hope this design will stick. Your movement deserves an original catchy symbol (see above).
This emblem will look great on flag an armband, adding a nice touch to your school’s interior and exterior.
You can even wear it as you harass passengers you don’t like on your flight to San Francisco, and no one will dare take you off the plane once they see your official SJW status.
And feel free to use the SafeSeating™ sign we have made for you earlier.
If you are wearing a safety pin to symbolize your struggle for safety over hate, try wearing four safety pins at once and watch your message get amplified exponentially. There’s safety in numbers! Be fashionable and raise everyone’s awareness by wearing this tasteful arrangement.
