Of Feces, Urine, Secret Jails, and Democrats in Denver

- Satire - In the not so distant past, thoughts of the Democratic convention conjured up images of ungodly long and boring speeches from bloated old windbags, ridiculous party platforms, even more absurd nominees, and what must have been the unconstitutional preemption of Bonanza and other television classics during prime time.

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All three networks were guilty, but as far as can be determined, the CEOs of CBS, ABC, and NBC have never really paid the full price for wiping out shows like I Love Lucy for a fortnight every four years. Things have changed a lot since the "Golden" years of Democratic conventions.  In 2008, the Democrat Party stands for killing babies, coddling baby killers, surrender at all costs as the cornerstone of national defense and homeland security, a "tax 'till they drop" revenue policy, no illegal alien let behind strategy for immigration, and the common tire gauge instead of additional refineries, more drilling, and nuclear power when it comes to achieving energy independence! However, when it comes to issues like feces, urine, and jails, Democrats are the same as they have always been. Which is to say incorrigible dim wits! That reality has prompted the great city of Denver to take a number of bold steps in advance of the Democrat convention next week. First up was the issue of poo and pee. These lovely subjects were behind a new law that prohibits people from carrying certain items if they intend to use them for nefarious purposes. The law was crafted with the Democratic National Convention specifically in mind and was adopted unanimously by the City Council. Once poo and pee have been attended to, there is still the insane liberal obsession with protests and protest marches to contend with. Most liberals will protest anything, except a ceremony which features the torching of the American flag, or which celebrates the burning of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney in effigy. Liberal protestmania, and the tendency to engage in unruly and violent behavior while under the influence thereof, has lead Denver to convert an old warehouse into a secret jail, again just in time for the DNC convention. Critics call this sensational idea, "Gitmo on the Platte," but reasonable folk in city management are not backing down, and the secret jail will be ready to receive it's liberal nut cases on schedule next week. Hmmm--wonder if Mayor Kilpatrick of Detroit has lined up housing yet? This might mesh perfectly with Da Mayor's lifestyle and rap sheet!