WhatFinger

75 percent of the American people demanding an end to the ban on off shore drilling

Speaker Pelosi Answers Higher Spiritual Calling; OKs Vote on Drilling



- Satire - Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) has abandoned her role as savior of the planet in favor of a much higher spiritual calling: Election year politics.

With 75 percent of the American people demanding an end to the ban on off shore drilling, and with polls indicating that gas prices and energy are important issues moving in favor of Republicans, the speaker was able to adjust her priorities and thinking accordingly. Her reasoning: "Planet Earth needs me and a veto proof Democrat majority in the House, and a filibuster-proof Democrat majority in the Senate, in order to save the planet. "Therefore, in the interest of saving the planet, I will yield on the drilling issue, at least until Obama and fellow socialists take over the US government. "However, once the elections are in the books, I promise to get back to work for the citizens of the world by shutting down all drilling and outlawing the combustion engine in America. "Take that, Cindy Sheehan!" And so it is with spiritual callings from on high in an election year!

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John Lillpop——

John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal. “Clean and sober” since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. For years, John lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, the very liberal sanctuary city which protects, rather than prosecutes, certain favored criminals.  John escaped the Bay Area in May and now lives in Pine Grove California where conservative values are still in vogue.

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