WhatFinger


Canadian Election

Stephane Dion’s 10 reasons to pull the plug



Liberal Party Leader Stephane Dion is facing a tough choice.

Support Canada Free Press


Should he vote against the budget forcing an election or allow it to pass and look like a chicken? The nervous nellies in his caucus (who are usually referred to in the media as "doves" instead of chickens) are urging caution. They say this is not the best time to go to the polls, for a whole variety of reasons. And yes it's true the Liberals face certain obstacles: They have too little money, too few ideas and too much Dion. But if I were advising Dion (which I'm not) I would strongly urge him to pull the plug on this government now.

Indeed, here are 10 reasons why Dion should go to the polls ASAP:

1. New Liberal Scandals Dion should hold an election now before any new Liberal scandals make headlines. Imagine the fallout, for instance, if we find out Roger Clemens has been injecting Dion with Human Growth Hormones to help him look more "leader like." 2. Afghanistan Follies The longer the Liberals remain in opposition, the greater the risk Dion will take another stab at formulating a Liberal policy on Afghanistan. The last time he did that, of course, he managed to anger both the right and left-wings of his party, while giving the Taliban a massive case of the giggles. 3. Money Talks Liberal fundraising efforts, of late, have been about as successful as Britney Spears therapy sessions. But waving the white flag on the budget will only make things worse. Nobody likes giving money to a loser. (Okay nobody other than Toronto Maple Leaf season ticket holders.) 4. Suzuki Threat If the Conservatives remain in power much longer, it's likely a frustrated David Suzuki will be forced stage a coup d'etat, so he can establish the world's first "Green Republic." The best Dion could hope for under a Suzuki regime is being named Canada's ambassador to Al Gore. 5. Liberal Knives Failing to force an election will only encourage Liberal rivals to undermine Dion's leadership. In fact, Liberal loyalty to Dion is slipping so much even his dog now reportedly supports Bob Rae. 6. Obama Factor The more Canadians see Barack Obama wow American voters with his charisma and message of hope, the more they will be reminded that Dion has about as much charisma as a damp wash cloth. 7. Language Skills The longer we wait for an election, the greater the chance Dion's English language skills will improve. And the more English-speaking Canadians understand what Dion is proposing the less likely they will be to elect him. 8. The CBC Factor It's important for Dion to call an election soon, because sooner or later the CBC will get tired of writing his speeches. 9. The Economy Some say Dion should wait for an economic slowdown before calling an election. But electing Dion as prime minister is the best way to cause an economic slow down. 10. Canadians Deserve It All Canadians deserve to see Dion on the campaign trail as soon as possible. Why? Because after enduring such a rough winter, we could all use the laugh. So Stephane, if you're reading this; don't be afraid to pull that plug.


View Comments

Guest Column Gerry Nicholls -- Bio and Archives

Items of notes and interest from the web.


Sponsored