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Milton, Garth Turner

The almost politician-free Santa Claus parade



The small town of Milton, just west of Toronto held its annual Santa Claus parade on Saturday. Last week the organizers announced that with the exception of Milton Mayor Gordon Kranz, no politicians would be allowed to march in the parade. No other local politicians; no provincial MPPs; and no federal MPs.

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The reason that was given for the elimination of the peoples’ representatives is that the parade was becoming too long and the powers that be were trying to limit the event to 70 entries. Most of the politicos took their snubbing in stride except federal Conservative, then Independent and now Liberal MP, Garth Turner. Turner was incensed that he and the others would not be allowed to accompany the jolly fat slightly obese man on his journey through Milton. Turner threatened not only to walk in the parade anyway but to bring his dog too. Ouch. If these politicians could be as tough with al Qaeda and those who are trying to destroy our way of life as Garth was with the parade organizers, Canada would be a lot safer than it is now. Turner’s attitude does not bode well for Liberal leader Stéphane Dion. If Turner is not going to listen to Santa Claus’ little helpers, he probably won’t pay much attention to what Steffi tells him to do either.           The organizers of the annual event did have a point. If the parade truly did have to be shortened, politicians were likely the most expendable entries in the parade. These parades are for the kids or at least that’s the theory; and children do not likely know who these strange looking people with the phony smiles are. They could be told of course. “Hey look Johnnie, there’s Garth. He took a lot of daddy’s money. That’s why you’re not getting the Christmas presents that you want this year”. While a waving line of politicians may not scare the little tykes who are lined up to await the arrival of Santa, their presence is bound to scare their parents; at least those few who can actually recognize them.           Getting rid of the politicians was not a bad idea. Any occasion in which politicians can be dispensed with is probably a good thing. And besides, if the parade was properly organized, there should have been a sufficient number of clowns in it.           The organizers big mistake was to allow the mayor to take part in the parade while excluding all other municipal, provincial and federal politicians. This makes it easier for the hurt Garth Turner to allege that there were political motives for his exclusion. Of course to most politicians, everything is political. Dropping into Tim’s for a coffee becomes a political event.           The town was quite pleased with the controversy that Turner’s exclusion for taking part in the parade has caused. Let’s face it, who even knew or cared that Milton of all places actually had an annual Santa Claus parade. That’s the advantage of having an elected politician like Garth Turner; he gets publicity for things that otherwise would cost big bucks to acquire.           Perhaps excluding politicians from such events should become more common. Maybe we can get Toronto’s Gay Pride parade organizers to get all the water gun toting municipal, provincial and federal politicians to stay away. Not a chance. You can’t pick on gays like you can pick on Santa Claus.           So far the town of Milton does not feel it is necessary to call in the grief counselors for the kids who were forced to watch the Santa Claus parade without the usual assortment of elected officials.           Memo to Garth: get over it.


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Arthur Weinreb -- Bio and Archives

Arthur Weinreb is an author, columnist and Associate Editor of Canada Free Press. Arthur’s latest book, Ford Nation: Why hundreds of thousands of Torontonians supported their conservative crack-smoking mayor is available at Amazon. Racism and the Death of Trayvon Martin is also available at Smashwords. His work has appeared on Newsmax.com,  Drudge Report, Foxnews.com.

Older articles (2007) by Arthur Weinreb


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