The Natural Cycle Of Environmentalism

Satire Once upon a time, there was a well known ex-loser politician who loved money and fame more than anything else in the world. Then one day some environmentalists came to see him with a proposal to make a lot of money. They explained that they could weave a fantastic deceptive story that the sky is falling and they wanted him to be their spokesman to pronounce and promote this story to the people.

---

They said they would make a shocking Hollywood documentary movie to help him convince the populace that the planet will heat up, oceans will flood the land and everyone will die unless they follow the magic advice of their new leader. It will declare that all wise people will follow their new leaders advice and only fools will disagree. “We can’t lose because only Scientists who agree that the sky-is-falling will get government funding and Scientists who disagree will be declared fools and lose their funding”. “Hmmm”, thought the ex-loser politician. I can get a lot of prime time exposure in the media and a lot of gullible greenie-wienie saps and rich little old ladies will be sending and willing me their money faster than I can count it. “If I get a big piece of the action”, said the ex-politician, “I will do it.” They agreed on the terms. “We will start at once”! “We will promote it relentlessly with Fear! Guilt! Fear! As if it were ‘an inconvenient truth’. We will convincingly pretend to be the saviours of the planet. We will campaign to have it in the Schools where the gullible teachers will help us instil fear and guilt in the children, who will in turn bring the fear and guilt home to their parents who will send money to our ‘earth warming magic solutions account’. The Nazis couldn’t have scripted better propaganda. The people will be so brain-scared programmed, they will swarm to comply with our advice. An almost perfect hoax but we must hurry and spread the fear, guilt and deception before the unfunded scientists and other truth-tellers rise up and speak out. Well time went on and the fraud got out of control, carbon tax and credit scams were sucking up so much money, the world went into recession. Opportunistic Environmental Foundations were springing up all over the place, to get in on the action and were making more money than the Politicians, their Friends and the Oil Industry combined. People couldn’t afford to drive to work. Farms were converted to growing crops for ethanol bio-fuels for cars, which triggered a worldwide food shortage and millions of people were starving to death. This fit right in to the environmentalist’s anti-human philosophy to de-populate the earth. The fraud fit right in to the mainstream media’s ideology that ‘fear/guilt sells’ and they ran with it so hard that people were getting overwhelmed with ‘fear/guilt burn-out’, then disillusionment and distrust set in. The tide was beginning to turn. Canada Free Press revealed, “Hey! It’s all a deceptive lie”! Did you hear that said the people? They began to suspect they had been duped and taken for a ride. The honest (unfunded scientists) and others, rose up, spoke the truth and exposed the fraud for what it really was, ‘Junk Science’. The media had bought into the scam so deeply and thoroughly that they unwittingly came to believe all the BS they had been pedaling. They couldn’t figure their way out and were getting nervous, as to change their story now and tell the truth, they would have to admit their collusive gullibility and to having fabricated all those lies. Shortly thereafter some media gurus had an emergency Board-Room Brainstorming Session to deal with their declining fear/guilt sales. As the people were getting wise to the scam and revolting, they had to come up with a brand new ‘fresh fear/guilt program’ pronto, without delay. They had heard of some non-funded skeptic scientists talking about the dangers of the earth cooling as being even more-scary than earth warming. This is our perfect solution they declared. They decided it’s time to turn the tables and start to sell ‘Global Cooling’ fears. We can’t lose, this is even better. The science is conclusive, there is no argument, everyone understands that you can’t live under a glacier or 100 metres of ice and you can’t plant seeds or grow anything in frozen ground. We can sell endless fear stories of how we are all going to freeze and starve to death in the dark. We can make people feel guilty and promote punitive programs if they don’t burn enough fossil fuels, or emit enough carbon dioxide. People could be penalized for having thermostat settings too low in the winter, or too high in the summer. Burning of coal will also become mandatory . The Sierra Clubs of the world can promote their ‘natural burning’ of the forests, for a different reason (other than killing every living thing for 100 years), ‘because it generates great amounts of heat and contributes lots of greenhouse gases’. Forest burning will become a popular worldwide thing to do. We can sell “greenhouse-pollution-credits” for those who fall short of their “mandated heavy emission quotas” and make even more money. The previously skeptic, honest scientists are now the ‘Global Cooling’ darlings of the media, are finally in on the government, and United Nations funding and are the most popular ‘sneetches on the beaches’. By now the ex-loser politician has even more, (a barn full) of money but is so shamed, disgraced and scorned, even his own family disowns him. He lives out his life a lonely, cranky old man who is despised by all and regarded as even a bigger loser. (He was last seen behind the barn on his farm playing by himself and babbling meaningless incoherent sounds like glo-cool, mo-munay, ba-bad ice). The former (sky is falling) government funded ‘Global Warming’ gravy train scientists are now all out of work, are exposed as ‘fools’ and many commit suicide. The thick skinned survivors attempt to justify and defend their deceitful, dishonest, erroneous ways by blaming it on their faulty under-complicated computer-climate-models which were naturally given to them as ‘pre-programmed by others’, and thus not their fault of course. Many of these and other disgraced pseudo scientists simply change their names, forge new credentials and get right back on the United Nations gravy train payroll as the new ‘Global Cooling’ experts. Sorry folks, that’s just ‘The Way She Goes’, ‘First Your Money, Then Your Clothes’.