-Satire Another Stoos Views/Hugh Betcha Exclusive Interview With Obama:
In a hastily arranged interview with the President, Hugh Betcha—Ace Reporter for the Stoos Views Media Conglomerate, winner of the “White House Press Corps’ Most Trusted Name in News, 2013” and long-time drinking buddy of the President—met with Obama at his urgent request to quell the mounting national furor over the White House decision to ban tours of the People’s House due to the Obama Scarequester. Munching on a cheeseburger and quaffing down a 20 ounce Coke while pulling on a Marlboro between bites (“Don’t tell Michelle” he cautioned the reporter) the President began:
“I have the answer.” he stated confidently.” I have a way that will at once allow me to continue going to Hawaii each Christmas with my family, give hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of tanks and planes to the Muslim extremist regime in Egypt, play hundreds of rounds of golf, put on extravagant feasts for foreign dignitaries at a cost of over a million dollars each, jet to Hollywood to hang with the stars, and drive around in 30 vehicle caravans everywhere I go, buy Michelle her designer gowns and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on the White House pooch and possibly permit folks to tour the White House.”
“How did you think this up?” Hugh inquired.
“As I was thinking of how the implementation of Obamacare is leading doctors’ offices to impose new and inventive taxes and charges on their patients in order to mute the effect of my healthcare plan on them—such as building use fee or waiting room fee—it occurred to me—hey, why not the White House too?”
“Well, you know how all those little school kids want to tour the White House—something we simply cannot afford right now—let’s make’m pay!”
“Don’t tell me…”
“Yup, a Tour Tax, Rental Fee, Occupancy Tax, whatever you want to call it. If we get enough folks through there each year at $500 bucks a pop, why we can probably afford to allow the riff raff to tour the house. After all, they are taking up space, breathing the air and forcing us to hire people to walk them around.”
“But who can afford this except the very wealthy?” Hugh protested.
“Hey, let them wash cars and do bake sales—we got a recession on if you haven’t noticed,” the President scolded. “Times are tough, everyone needs to sacrifice.”
Copyright © 2013 William Kevin Stoos for CANADA FREE PRESS
Copyright © 2017 William Kevin Stoos
William Kevin Stoos (aka Hugh Betcha) is a writer, book reviewer, and attorney, whose feature and cover articles have appeared in the Liguorian, Carmelite Digest, Catholic Digest, Catholic Medical Association Ethics Journal, Nature Conservancy Magazine, Liberty Magazine, Social Justice Review, Wall Street Journal Online and other secular and religious publications. He is a regular contributing author for The Bread of Life Magazine in Canada. His review of Shadow World, by COL. Robert Chandler, propelled that book to best seller status. His book, The Woodcarver (]And Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration<strong>) © 2009, William Kevin Stoos (Strategic Publishing Company)—a collection of feature and cover stories on matters of faith—was released in July of 2009. It can be purchased though many internet booksellers including Amazon, Tower, Barnes and Noble and others. Royalties from his writings go to support the Carmelites. He resides in Wynstone, South Dakota.
“His newest book, <strong>The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” © 2011, is scheduled for release in the summer of 2011. All the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”
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