-Satire-
Given the insane liberalism that prevails in America these days, one shudders to imagine how history might have turned out differently if liberals like those ruining our nation had been in charge during the First Easter week.
Some likely oddities:
Jesus' triumphant ride into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday would have been delayed in order for the Lord to secure the required parade licenses, and to provide proof that the # he was riding had been neutered in acordance with city ordinances;
Judas Iscariot would have been forced to pay a 90 percent tax on bonus income (30 pieces of silver) earned for turning Jesus over to the Romans. Being a good Jew, he would probably have relented on his deal with the Romans, and Jesus would have left the Garden of Gesthemane unscathed;
ACLU lawyers would have argued in favor of the death penalty for the Lord;
The farcical trial of Jesus by Pontius Pilate would have been appealed on the grounds that there were no women, Muslims, Hindus, Hispanics, blacks, gays, lesbians, or transsexuals in the jury pool. As is the case today, the interests of Christians would have been completely ignored;
Jesus' death sentence would have been blocked by a liberal judge because of anxiety over "cruel and unusual" punishment. The judge would have ruled that the "salvation of mankind" argument was of insufficient cause to set aside her injunction;
Final approval of the crucifixion plan would have required filing and approval of an Environmental Impact Report and Cost Benefit Analysis;
The crucifixion cross would have been ruled unacceptable because it was built by non-union, scab labor, using non-recyclable wood;
Centurions would have been forced to pay a "Crucifixion fee" in order to carry out their dastardly deed.
Face it folks, had the likes of Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid been in charge at the First Easter, even the most select among us would not have been redeemed by the saving blood of Jesus Christ!
John W. Lillpop
John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal. “Clean and sober” since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. For years, John lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, the very liberal sanctuary city which protects, rather than prosecutes, certain favored criminals. John escaped the Bay Area in May and now lives in Pine Grove California where conservative values are still in vogue.
