Schwarzenegger Changes Name to Kennedy

- Satire-anger (Los Angeles)-In documents to be filed with the Superior Court of Los Angeles on Monday morning, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has petitioned the state to change his legal name from Arnold Terminator Schwarzenegger to Arnold Wuss Kennedy.

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According to legal scholars familiar with the filing, the governor has justified his action based on the following legal arguments:

1. (i) Kennedy is easier to spell,
2. (ii) It would substantially boost his prospects for marital bliss, especially in the master bedroom of the governor's mansion,
3. (ii) Changing one's name is far less expensive than divorce, and
4. (iv) Given Senator Ted Kennedy's frail health, Arnold may soon be asked to run for the US Senate, a formidable challenge made infinitely less daunting to anyone named Kennedy.

Good luck to the governor in attempting to make official his unconscionable lurch leftward. Truth be told, Schwarzenegger's credentials as a conservative have always been suspect, especially since he has utterly broken his promise to "Tear up and throw away the credit cards" and has done next to nothing to reign in out of control spending. Rather than challenging liberals to spend less and tax less, Schwarzenegger recently joined a small gang of like minded RINOs in attempting to tax the budget back into balance. That scheme required Californians to vote against their own interests, an absurd notion that was defeated handily at the polls on May 19. Given the results of the May 19 election, one would hope that Schwarzenegger had listened and finally gotten the message. Alas, not so! Faced with a staggering $24 billion deficit (and growing), Schwarzenegger continues to live in a fiscal fairy land when it comes to illegal aliens and, in fact, claims to be happy that invading criminals are able to access services to which they are not entitled. As reported at Mcclatchy.com, in part, the governor made these stunning remarks:

"You know something, as far as I'm concerned, I'm happy that they can get the services," he said Friday. "Because I would like to have the services if I'm somewhere in another country … if I have an accident with a motorcycle and I go to an emergency room, I don't want someone to say, is he here legally?"

This from the governor who has fired thousands of state employees, closed 80 percent of the state's parks, and who will attempt to cut wages and benefits of the remaining state employees. Yet, he is "Happy" that illegal aliens can feed at the public trough? Unbelievable! Schwarzenegger's mental meltdown proves, beyond any reasonable doubt, that living with a Kennedy can seriously impair one's native intelligence and ability to reason. The only thing more debilitating is to have been born a Kennedy!