Cash for Granny

Following the breathtaking success of the Cash for Clunkers scheme, the White House is about to roll out a key plank in Obama Care: Cash for Granny. The program is designed to empower family members of senior citizens to relieve themselves of the burden of caring for elderly Americans who are no longer useful and are consuming valuable resources.

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Though Obama and Nancy Pelosi are both claiming credit for the program, it was actually drafted by unrepentant Nazi collaborator and democrat financier, George Soros. Soros is a notorious advocate of the assisted suicide campaign. He papers over it with tripe about compassion; in reality, the project is a drive to provide palliative care rather than treatment for gravely ill patients:

“Can we afford to care for the dying properly? The number of people dying in the United States currently stands at 2.2 million annually. Increases in cancer and AIDS and the aging of the baby boomers will cause this figure to climb faster than the population . . . [But] [a]ggressive, life-prolonging interventions, which may at times go against the patient’s wishes, are much more expensive than proper care for the dying.”

Mr. Compassion wants us to believe that his interest in caring for the dying was sparked by the death of his own father. Soros was irked at his father’s obstinate refusal to just die already: "...unfortunately [he ]wanted to live... I was kind of disappointed in him ... I wrote him off." In Australia’s Northern Territory, Soros has already managed to buy significant government influence leading to reports of patients being pressured into accepting euthanasia. Another inescapable consequence of socialized medicine will be that medical decisions will be made not by doctors and patients, but by indolent bureaucrats who have good insurance for themselves. Dr. Obama himself acknowledged Soros’ geriatricide plan when he responded to a question from Jane Sturm whose 100 year old mother was denied a pacemaker because of her age. Sturm rejected the Soros platform and did not order her mother to lie down and die. Instead, Sturm found a doctor willing to provide the pacemaker, appreciating that Strum’s mother was not in the mood to expire on command. It was a revelation to Mr. Obama that some seniors enjoy a high quality of life and can remain spry. The Narcissist in Chief, who is afflicted with a sepulchral lack of empathy replied:

"I don't think that we can make judgments based on peoples' spirit," Obama said. "That would be a pretty subjective decision to be making. I think we have to have rules that say that we are going to provide good, quality care for all people. “

Under the Cash for Granny program, family members will receive a check from the government for turning unwanted relatives over for involuntary euthanasia. Speaker Pelosi insists that Cash for Grannies will create or save thousands of green jobs. Americans can rest assured that no organs or tonsils will be harvested from their loved ones. All parts will be destroyed to ensure that high mileage, inefficient body parts won’t find their way into the bodies of young, vibrant registered Democrats.