WhatFinger


Systemic Racism

Who would have guessed the IOC was racist?



-Satire- (Note: The following article was made possible through the generosity of the National Endowment for the Arts and the Tides Foundation) The rejection of Chicago as host city for the 2016 Olympiad can only be ascribed to one ugly factor: racism. When President Obama, his beautiful wife Michelle and Oprah Winfrey, no less, took time out from their busy respective schedules to plead with the International Olympic Committee on behalf of the Windy City, most observers believed that the games would be held there. But in a stunning betrayal of our beloved President’s extended hand, the IOC chose instead to bite that hand by rejecting Chicago during the very first round.

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“We have no idea how this could have happened,” said a visibly shaken Valerie Jarret, senior advisor to the President. “We did everything in our bid that was expected of us, even going so far as to personally deliver a last-minute incentive document containing 50,000 reasons why Chicago was the best place to hold the 2016 Olympics.” The city of Chicago has fully fulfilled its mandate in submitting a cogent and comprehensive proposal to the IOC that promised to spend as much taxpayer money as was necessary to bring the games to the Second City with an initial bid of $5 billion dollars and more if it were needed. Chicago Mayor Richard Daley Jr. could not be reached for comment at press time, but a spokesperson for the mayor had this to say: “We did whatever that bunch of foreigners at the IOC asked us to do, sent banking information, a history of the city, security plans, architectural renderings for the stadiums and arena, even sent the consulting fees that each IOC member required in small used bills like they said, and still they screw us.” Former President Jimmy Carter, who happened to be in the city rebuilding some slums through his Habitat program, pointed out the obvious last night at a consolation dinner held in Chicago with the mayor and Chicago-area Democrat functionaries, when he surmised that the only reason Chicago lost the games was because of the prevalent and systemic racism inherent at the IOC. “There can’t possibly be another reason for the IOC to choose a crap-hole like Rio de Janeiro. What did they give the committee members to vote for them, oil leases? No there’s a clear reason that the beautiful and vibrant city of Chicago lost out- racism.” A spokesperson for the IOC, one Natalia Maria del Grabba el Monee, claimed that racism had absolutely nothing to do with the committee’s vote. “The IOC members made their decision on a wide spectrum of considerations and chose the site that best fit their parameters,” Ms Grabba el Monee stated. “There were no ‘ulterior motives’ why the committee made its selection, certainly not racism, as the whole world loves Mr. Obama.” Ms Grabba el Monee stated that one of the reasons the committee did not opt for Chicago was the city’s high crime rate and decrepit housing conditions. “The IOC had concerns for the safety of the athletes,” she said. “And felt that Rio provided a safer and less decrepit infrastructure.” That statement in itself is what one could consider the smoking gun in this brouhaha, proving that racism was a prime consideration. Rio de Janeiro is one of the most decrepit cities in the world and their murder rate is likely twice as much as the mere 600 murders that take place in Chicago every year. In addition Rio has slums, the likes of which have never been seen, where the police roam the streets at night killing young gang members. Then there is the issue of secularism. It’s plain that Rio de Janeiro, unlike the great city of Chicago, is a Christian city. for proof, look no further than the 130 foot tall statue of Christ that stands atop Corcovado mountain. How could the IOC miss that? The IOC’s shame will not be forgotten in the bid for the 2020 Olympics. But for now, systemic racism is alive and well and will soon be vacationing in Rio.


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Klaus Rohrich -- Bio and Archives

Klaus Rohrich is senior columnist for Canada Free Press. Klaus also writes topical articles for numerous magazines. He has a regular column on RetirementHomes and is currently working on his first book dealing with the toxicity of liberalism.  His work has been featured on the Drudge Report, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, among others.  He lives and works in a small town outside of Toronto.

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