KGB Karaoke

KGB Colonel turned Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin reminded the world that the KGB is still in business, albeit rebranded as the FSB. Asserting that he knows the names of those who exposed the Russian spies recently discovered and swiftly dispatched out of the United States, Putin dispensed a KGB worthy reprimand.

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‘It was the result of treason,’ he said, predicting a grim future for those responsible. ‘It always ends badly for traitors: as a rule, their end comes from drink or drugs, lying in a ditch. And for what?’

Putin offered this poignant reminder about how the KGB operates as he was delighting in a tender sing along with the Russian sleeper agents.

‘I met them. We talked about life. We sang, not karaoke, but to live music. We sang From What the Motherland Begins’ – a sentimental Soviet song from the 1968 film Sword and Shield, about a daring Russian agent who is sent to Germany during the second world war and infiltrates the SS.

Putin’s admiration for his agents was unabashed. He lauded their adroitness at blending in while putting the interests of the motherland above personal well being. No doubt, Putin’s little hydrangea growers were jubilant to learn that they could expect. ‘I'm sure they will work in worthy places and they will have bright and interesting lives.’ The old KGB never really had the resources to wreak the amount of havoc they threatened. Control over the Soviet citizenry was effected by way of threats punctuated by actual acts of unspeakable horror that makes our water boarding look like a weekend at Sandals. The KGB/FSB can’t actually torture and kill absolutely everybody who dares to dissent. Putin’s comments about the informers were classic KGB. It’s not like anybody in the Obama administration is going to denounce KGB modus operandi. If anything, Obama would welcome some advice on how to shut up Fox News.