WhatFinger


Obesity epidemic,

Looking for the Pill in the Twinkie



The United States and Canada are both facing what many experts call an obesity “epidemic.” Of course, in our current sensationalist media environment, just about everything can be considered an epidemic, from Swine Flu to foreclosures to Tea Party membership.

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But this epidemic seems authentic. In 1980, the obesity rate in both the U.S. and Canada was about 12 to 13 percent. Today, that number is around 34 percent in the U.S. and 25 percent in Canada. (Americans are SO competitive; they even have to come in first in obesity!) And all this blubber adds up. Medical costs as a direct or indirect result of obesity are in the billions of dollars, and hundreds of thousands of man-hours are lost at American and Canadian workplaces each year due to obesity-related absences. Politically, this epidemic is just the kind of thing the “big government is best” crowd is looking for. As Rahm Emanuel famously said, “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste.” And as long as obesity is seen as a crisis, there will be those like Emanuel who attempt to use it increase government’s power over our lives. An early example of this is the 2006 New York City ban on trans fats in restaurant food. Currently, there are literally hundreds of proposed laws nationwide that want to regulate such things as what schools can and cannot offer in lunchrooms and what restaurants can and cannot offer to customers. Other legislation proposes taxes on “junk” food, “fast” food, and even such things as movie tickets (see, when you’re watching a movie, you’re not exercising AND you’re stuffing your face with buttered popcorn, soda, and Mike & Ike’s—horrors!) Of course, Obamacare provides big-government legislators with added fuel to pursue this agenda. As the U.S. moves towards a single-payer health care system (with government being that payer), the argument can quite easily be made that obesity, with all of its increased health costs, causes higher taxes and a larger federal deficit as government has to pay more and more to treat these obesity-related costs. That leads, logically, to the point that government should be able to regulate what we eat and drink, and even our activity level, for the good of all taxpayers. What is forgotten in all of this, of course, if the concept (so foreign to the big government crowd) of personal responsibility. When the ban on trans fats was passed in New York City, one news organization interviews people on the street to ask them if the government had overstepped its bounds. Many said yes, but they were okay with it because they wanted to eat better. Since when are we so lacking in will power that only government legislation can help us eat better? That concept of will power is really the key to this debate. The problem is, so many North Americans (myself included), have a really hard time with the “diet-and-exercise” thing, and with good reason: we are normal people, and normal people hate diet and exercise, because we still have that basic instinct that says, “Avoid pain at all costs.” And face it, diet and exercise is all about pain. The whole idea behind dieting is to take in too few calories so that your body will burn its excess fat reserves. Your body does not want to burn these reserves, because this is what it plans to live off all winter when you, much like the mighty grizzly bear, go into hibernation in your barcalounger while watching ESPN. Your body does not realize that you can hibernate all winter and still have a constant flow of nachos and beer, so it tries to protect your fat reserves by making you hungry (i.e. causing you pain). Exercise is even more painful. In fact, exercise is the very glorification of pain. Remember the old weight lifter’s credo: “No Pain, No Gain?” Well, we normal people much prefer the credo: “No Pain…No Pain!” That leaves us very few options if we wish to be non-obese and pain-free, and if we believe in the concepts of personal responsibility and limited government. But there is hope in this fight against big waistlines and big government. Researchers in Sweden have developed a “skinny pill” that forces your body to drop excess fat. They stuffed it into a Twinkie and fed it to overweight mice, and the mice all immediately returned to normal weight. It will take years to get U.S. and Canadian governmental approval for this pill, but if I know my fellow overweight North Americans, there is already a black market for it. For all I know, Swedish drug runners are already smuggling the pill into the two countries. And I guarantee you this: I’m going to get my hands on that pill, even if I have to eat every Twinkee in North America to find it. I invite you to join me, and if we’re lucky enough, the next time researchers count up the obese and overweight, they’ll be shocked to find obesity rates back to 1980 levels, with no clue but a few empty Twinkee shelves at the convenience store. Who would have thought that a socialist country like Sweden could help us beat back the forces of big government?


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Mike Jensen -- Bio and Archives

Mike Jensen is a freelance writer living in Colorado.  He received his M.A. in Professional Writing from the University of Alaska Fairbanks, where he wrote his first book, Alaska’s Wilderness Highway.  He has since published Skier’s Guide to Utah along with humor, travel, and political articles for various magazines and newspapers.  He is married with five sons, and spends his free time at a remote cabin in the Colorado Rockies.


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