David Suzuki preaches that setting our air conditioners just a few degrees higher will make a big difference for our environment.
And he's absolutely right.
I set my air conditioner a few degrees higher recently and my environment was changed so much I felt like a piece of bacon frying in Satan's kitchen.
Dying of heat stroke, of course, is just one of the "little things" we are supposed to do to help stave off Texas-sized hurricanes, melting glaciers and Al Gore documentaries.
In the name of saving the planet, environmentalists have all sorts of other lifestyle-altering tips such as "Instead of driving your car, why not turn it into a giant organic composter."
And when environmentalists are not nagging us with these "helpful hints" they are trying to make us feel guilty, albeit with scientifically based arguments like: "Do as we say or else polar bears will cry."
Still, environmentalists aren't the only ones out to change our lifestyles. So are politicians.
Take Prime Minister Stephen Harper's brilliant "green plan" to save the planet.
In case you haven't heard about it, Harper's plan seems based on a single premise: The world has too much food.
So to cut this dangerous surplus, the PM is courageously spending $1.5 billion on a scheme to turn crops into gasoline.
And already his plan is having an impact; today people worldwide are less concerned about global warming; unfortunately they are now more concerned about global starving.
Way to go Stephen.
Then there's Liberal leader Stephane Dion's plan to impose a "carbon tax."
Whereas Harper's green plan will make us hungrier, Dion's will make us poorer.
Actually, that's unfair.
Dion's proposed carbon tax is "revenue neutral" meaning it will just make Alberta poorer.
This might upset Albertans, but Dion is operating according to a sophisticated economic model.
For the non-economist layman this model can be simplified thusly: "Alberta never votes Liberal, so who cares?"
Besides, despite its drawbacks, Dion's plan will help avert a climate change catastrophe, right?
Wrong. It won't. And neither will Harper's plan and nor will all those little lifestyle altering tips environmental activists like to dish out.
Why do I say that?
Well, first of all the climate crisis will never go away because the environmental lobby won't let it go away.
The day will never come when Suzuki will go on national television and say: "Hey guess what? Because so many Canadians bought energy-efficient popcorn makers, the world is saved from ecological disaster. Good work everybody. I will now close down my foundation, relinquish my fame and vanish into obscurity."
If anything, "green" pressure groups have an incentive to exaggerate the world's environmental problems -- and they do.
MEET THE FLINTSTONES
Secondly, if global warming is real and if human industrial activity is to blame, the only real cure would be for the whole world to revert to a pre-Fred Flinstone level of technology. Yabba dabba doo!
So that's why we shouldn't let environmental fanatics or politicians lay a guilt trip on us.
Let's just enjoy life as happily and comfortably as possible.
Idle your car in a Tim Hortons drive-through, don't throw out your old beer fridge, keep granny's dialysis machine plugged in.
The polar bears won't mind.
Now excuse me, I need to turn my air conditioner down a few degrees.
