WhatFinger


Alliteration: “Arrogant, aloof, aggressive, apoplectic angler, what did you catch?”

I Bought The Donuts



In college classrooms, challenges work sometimes, and sometimes they don’t. This time it did. While explaining story line to students in my Creative Writing class, I started with the setting, and told them it must provide time, place, and characters.
The kids were bored stiff, as college students always are at eight o’clock in the morning. They weren’t taking notes, and most were staring off in space, daydreaming, so I got their attention by throwing out a challenge. “Duds — that’s what y’all are!” I roared. “You profess to be inspired by the opportunity to create, but you’re obviously brain dead, and ought to be underground instead, inspiring the cabbages. The only thing inspiring y’all is your eagerness to walk out of this classroom as soon as possible.” After letting that slap in the face wake them up somewhat, I continued. “I’ll bet two boxes of fresh, hot donuts against nothing that you zombies can’t even spell time, place, and characters — much less come up with a story containing them.” That touched raw nerves. The silence was deafening, stares were glowering, and every face was frowning. Then, one enterprising young man, Daniel, spoke up.

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“Make it three boxes of donuts and you’re on, Prof.” The battle was joined — every student cheered and rallied behind him. I thought … what in the heck have I gotten myself into? In our next session, Daniel instructed me to take a seat and let him demonstrate on the board what they had created. “For the time of our story, we’ve chosen the upcoming Spring Break,” Daniel said. “The setting will be the River of Reed’s Regret, and the characters will be the members of this class, including our beloved teacher, who professes to be an expert angler. “We’ll have a fishing contest. The winner won’t be determined by the number of fish caught or their total weight; he will be the one who catches the most exotic fish.” I had to admit that the kids were off to a good start, but I was curious as to how they would determine what could be called exotic fish. By coincidence, we had discussed what is known as alliteration in a recent session. Alliteration is the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words. The students had used alliteration to name the fish they caught. With much flourish and a ringing round of applause from his classmates, Daniel began writing on the board the names of students and the fish they caught:
  • Jazmine: Accurate-Aiming Aquatic Attacker
  • Shalisa: Brown-Bellied Bottom Bumper
  • William: Crimson-Crested Cricket Cruncher
  • Tyler: Deep-Diving Death Dealer
  • Jessica: Evil-Eyed Everything Eater
  • Tommie: Horribly-Horned Human Hunter
  • Jessi: Iridescent Indigo Insect Ingester
  • Daniel: Ravenous Raging Reed Ripper
  • Tanner: Mealy-Mouthed Minnow Muncher
  • Taylor: Tiger-Toothed Tackle Tangler
  • Whitnie: Unmentionably Ugly Ultraviolet Underwater Undulator
  • Ashley: Venomous Voracious Vibrating Vindicator
  • Farrah: Ordinary Orange Omnivorous Obliterator
Then, turning to me, Daniel asked, “Arrogant, aloof, aggressive, apoplectic angler, what did you catch?” I bought the donuts.


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Jimmy Reed -- Bio and Archives

Jimmy Reed is an Oxford, Mississippi resident, Ole Miss and Delta State University alumnus, Vietnam Era Army Veteran, former Mississippi Delta cotton farmer and ginner, author, and retired college teacher.

This story is a selection from Jimmy Reed’s latest book, entitled The Jaybird Tales.

Copies, including personalized autographs, can be reserved by notifying the author via email (.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)).


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