Penn State professor goes berserk on an airplane - launches into anti-US rant because she's a 'revolutionary'

The educators who populate the halls of modern academia are wondrous people - eager to share their insight, experience, and a nuanced understanding of the world around us. At least, that's what it says in the campus brochure. In reality, some of them - probably most of them - are brain-dead leftists who spend their days regurgitating their antiquated dogma in a desperate attempt to recapture their 'glory days' as youthful radicals.

The case in point is Penn State Abington sociology professor, Dr. Karen Halnon. She was arrested recently, after going berserk on a passenger flight from Nicaragua to Miami. Fortunately (for a whole slew of reasons) these are not the 'glory days.' Here in the future, people have cell phones. Thanks to Halnon's fellow travellers, we get to watch grainy cell phone videos of the good professor going bonkers. First up, we have a clip in which she pulls out a lighter and fires up a cigarette. She did this, obviously, because all revolutionaries are big smokers. As she told Philadelphia Magazine:

I am a sociologist, and I live in an intellectual world. A sociologist always thinks in terms of symbols. And every revolutionary I know smokes. It was identifying with the revolutionary cause. And then, beyond that, it is a symbol that the United States is a smoking gun. The action was necessary. They are going to kill many more people.

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Ah. The "intellectual world." That makes perfect sense. As you can hear in the clip, the passengers are starting to get nervous. You can't really blame them. The last time most people heard a story about a mid-flight cigarette lighter, it belonged to Richard Reid and he was trying blow up his plane. They tried to get a flight attendant to deal with Ms. Halnon but she wasn't finished yet. She knew she was going to be arrested as soon as the plane landed, so she decided to use her remaining minutes of freedom to announce that the United States had declared war on Venezuela. She also wanted to make sure everyone knew how our country had mistreated her "great hero Hugo Chavez." ...Again, this is a woman who is allowed to teach your kids. When she does, you can bet she'll tell them that her diatribe was of the utmost importance. Young minds need to understand the gravity of the situation, because:

The problem is U.S. military global domination. And they want the oil. And they want the water. And so I found that this act was a necessary Thoreau-like act of civil disobedience. I had to speak out now. The situation is dire and urgent, and any sacrifice I make for my own self, if it saves lives — there have been far too many lives lost due to U.S. global military domination.

She was taken into custody at Miami Dade Airport, questioned, charged with a misdemeanor for disorderly conduct, and released. Or, if you believe her side of the story, she was put in a meat locker where she was tortured and forced to poop on the floor.

The FBI and TSA tortured me. My voice generally doesn't sound like this. I was put in a room with two fans in the ceiling, it was freezing cold for hours and hours and hours. I asked repeatedly to go to the bathroom. They made me wet my pants. They humiliated me. And then to make matters worse, I have a stomach condition. Everything that comes in goes out. I've been like that for months since I left Cuba. I've lost over 30 pounds. And I was yelling that I had to go to the bathroom. But they ignored me, and I defecated on the floor. And they made me pick it up and laughed at me.

That sounds awful. You'd assume that, after such a harrowing ordeal, she would have filed the necessary paperwork to claim mistreatment. So far, she hasn't. Penn State officials have offered no comment on the situation. Reportedly they're still trying to "figure out" what to do with Ms. Halnon. ...Because apparently adopting a "fire the crackpot" policy would just be too easy. As for Halnon's revolution, the work continues. As long as the U.S. insists on killing dictators with cancer and secret earthquake weapons, she'll continue to speak out.

Can you comment on your arrest and on the videos of you on the plane that are circulating? I do have a comment. I know that I expressed an act of civil disobedience. But that act was necessary. Why so? I'm very knowledgeable about that part of the world. I teach about U.S. imperialism in Latin America. And the U.S. has declared war against Venezuela. That means military aggression. They tried to take out Hugo with a coup, and then they took him out with cancer. Oh? It is my opinion — and Fidel agrees with me …

One might argue that Chavez had cancer because "every revolutionary smokes," but no. The truth will out! That means more airborne freakouts may be required. But don’t worry. Halnon claims she's learned a valuable lesson. She feels badly that she did this while there were students on the plane. It's all about the kids, dontcha know.

I made some mistakes here, but it wasn't a mistake to speak out. I would do it again today. Ask anyone who knows me.

We're sure the TSA will do exactly that - right before they welcome Ms. Halnon to the no-fly list.