WhatFinger


HE IS SPEAKING AT THE CONVENTION TONIGHT

Debbie Whatshername Schultz Declares There is a God...



A Hugh Betcha Exclusive -- Satire It was mass confusion at the Democrat National Convention this week as the Democrats struggled over the troubling issue as to whether they should recognize God in their platform.
After several voice votes—the outcome of which was anything but clear—the chairman slammed down his gavel and declared that the ayes have it and that, remarkably, God would be—if reluctantly—included in the party’s platform. And Hugh Betcha, Ace Reporter for Stoos Views International Media Conglomerate and Head of the Stoos Views Political Bureau—winner of the CNN Reporter of the Decade Award—was there. Spotting Debbie Whatshername Schultz, Chairwoman of the National Democrat Party, Hugh thrust a microphone into her face and asked a question that was on the minds of many.

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“Why the confusion over one little word? What was the problem with simply acknowledging a divine presence in the universe?” asked Hugh. “Well, as a politically correct, secular humanist, socialist party who believes in the supremacy of Mankind, it is a little uncomfortable acknowledging there is a ‘God’ so to speak,” said Schultz. “Makes us sound like a bunch of religious zealots, you know.” “What tipped the scale in favor of mentioning God?” Hugh inquired. “Well, we decided we were mistaken. There is indeed a God after all,” replied the Chairwoman. “He is speaking to the convention tonight.” © 2012 William Kevin Stoos


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William Kevin Stoos -- Bio and Archives

Copyright © 2020 William Kevin Stoos
William Kevin Stoos (aka Hugh Betcha) is a writer, book reviewer, and attorney, whose feature and cover articles have appeared in the Liguorian, Carmelite Digest, Catholic Digest, Catholic Medical Association Ethics Journal, Nature Conservancy Magazine, Liberty Magazine, Social Justice Review, Wall Street Journal Online and other secular and religious publications.  He is a regular contributing author for The Bread of Life Magazine in Canada. His review of Shadow World, by COL. Robert Chandler, propelled that book to best seller status. His book, The Woodcarver (]And Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration) © 2009, William Kevin Stoos (Strategic Publishing Company)—a collection of feature and cover stories on matters of faith—was released in July of 2009. It can be purchased though many internet booksellers including Amazon, Tower, Barnes and Noble and others. Royalties from his writings go to support the Carmelites. He resides in Wynstone, South Dakota.


“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”


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