WhatFinger


Why not? Canada is really just part of the United States anyway. But don't mess with the CFL!

Apparently Ted Cruz can lead both the United States and Canada



Rob's already covered the apparent consensus that Sen. Ted Cruz is, in fact, constitutionally eligible to run for president, and Cruz himself had a little fun with the conspiracy wackos and the media (wait, there's a difference?) today by releasing his birth certificate.
Read Rob's piece for the explanation of why he can run for president here, but the gist of it is: Yes, he was born in Canada, but he is a naturalized citizen of the U.S. who has never renounced his Canadian citizenship, which means he could theoretically run for office in either country. Which brings up an interesting idea: Why not let him run for president of the United States and prime minister of Canada - at the same time? Normally it would be kind of difficult for the same person to run two countries at once, but come on: Canada is practically part of the United States. You didn't even need a passport to go there until a few years ago. They play in our sports leagues. They speak our language, well, except for those poor Expos fans who got so upset about losing their team that they started speaking French all the time.

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I think we could do this. Cruz could commute between Washington and Ottawa. With a conservative majority and some governing backbone, he could get rid of Canada's socialized medicine and get everyone set up with Health Savings Accounts (or would it be Healthe Savings Accountes?). We could sign all the Canajuns up for the U.S. Armed Forces, since everyone know that if they ever got attacked, they would immediately call us to defend their asses. Might as well put them in uniform and give them real training. All the moaning about NAFTA would arguably become less relevant because we'd be like one country anyway. One less border to protect. You'd just need to keep the Mexicans out on the south, and on the north? Give the Inuits guns! Don't tell me the elves and the Russians are coming here to do the jobs ordinary Canadians won't do. President/Prime Minister Cruz isn't going to cotton to that kind of nonsense. My only concern is this: I do not want the Canadian Football League messed with, so Cruz or no Cruz, I don't want to hear any talk about merging it with the NFL or changing the rules. Because the 110-yard field, the 20-yard end zones and goal posts on the goal line are awesome, as are three-down series, 12 men on the field and "singles" when you miss a field goal. I wouldn't want the NFL to turn into this, but the CFL rocks. Keep 'em the way they are, Mr. President/Prime Minister! Oh, and just think, one less "summit" for the media to wet its pants over. This needs to happen.


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