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Connie Stevens

"If you look up the word "cute" in the dictionary, you're going to find Connie Steven's picture illustrating it,"

CFP’s resident poet

June 29th, 2008

It should have come as no surprise to me when I sent word today to William Bedford asking him for a brief bio to use on his cover story on Canada Free Press tomorrow that he was born in Dublin.

 

William Bedford writes the most stirring poems.  There is something about the Emerald Isle that breathes a talent to express poetry in some of its sons.  Ireland is afterall the home of James Joyce, Seamus Heaney and W.B. Yeats, amongst many others.
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Obama’s Senate work experience

June 22nd, 2008

Just how much United States Senate experience does The MESSIAH Barack Obama have in terms of actual work days?

Not much.
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King of the Moonbats

May 28th, 2008

British columnist/activist George Monbiot put on his hunting hood and went off to the Hay Festival to make a picture perfect citizen’s arrest of John Bolton. All of his hype notwitstanding, the Guardian columnist was stopped by security and given the proverbial bum’s rush.
Bloggers went into overdrive with insults for the sanctimonious Guardian “journalist”.
“Mr. Monbiot shuld be grateful it is not against the law to be an idiot. If it were, Mr. Monbiot would get the death penalty,” wrote one.
Even after being stopped by two security guards, Mr. Monbiot tried running to catch up to Mr. Bolton but failed.
Among all of his self-touted attributes, Mr. Monbiot is above all a publicity hound.
He was undoubtedly looking for attention when he showed up at the Hay Festival with handcuffs ready for Mr. Bolton. He found it: The question, “Shouldn’t it be Mr. Moonbat, not Mr. Monbiot?” posed by one blogger, will follow him the rest of his days. s
Forever more George Monbiot will be the iconic “King of the Moonbats”.
Code Pinkers are already cheering from across the pond.

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God Does Exist

May 24th, 2008

Sent in by a reader….

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

 

 When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: ‘I don’t believe that God exists.

”Why do you say that?’ asked the customer.

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Tearful Mom fights for moratorium of stun guns

May 17th, 2008

The story of Polish Zofia Cisowski, mother of last winter’s Taser gun victim t Vancouver Airport, is one of the saddest I ever heard. Cisowski had saved her money for a reunion with her son that never happened. Robert Dziekanski, who couldn’t speak English, was disoriented after spending hours at the airport, and died after being tasered by authorities trying to subdue him.

Adding to his mother’s grief is that she was originally told a different version by authorities how her son, died at the hands of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP). Heartbreakingly, Mrs. Cisowski only found out the real version after she viewed the video tape of her son’s death.

A tearful Mrs. Cisowski tearfully called for a moratortium on the use of tasers at a hearing on Thursday.

At the same hearing, Tom Smith, chair of Taser International, the manufacturer of the stun gun, admitted the weapon is not risk-free. Smith emphasized the word `non-lethal’ should not be understood to mean safe.

It didn’t help Mrs. Cisowski to know that Smith’s statement contradicts that of MP Uijal Dosanjh, attorney general of British Colombia in 2000 when the Tasers were introduced to the RCMP. Dosanjh said he was assured of the stun gun’s safety.

The Taser is being used by some 350,000 police officers in 40 nations.

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Fired and re-hired over a 16-cent doughnut

May 8th, 2008

Canada’s largest doughnut chain, Tim Hortons seems to have lost its good sense in good old-fashioned public relations.
Nicole Lilliman, 27, was summoned to the office of the Tim Hoerrons franchise Wednesday and told video surveillance had caught her giving a customer’s toddler a 16-cent doughnut nugget for free. Giving the timbit who was pointing at it and talking baby prattle, cost the woman her job.
“It was just out of my heart–(the child) was pointing and going `ah, ah’,” she said. “I should have gone to mu purse and got the change, but it was busy.”
Nicole said the three managers who summoned her fired her for theft and told her she had to sign the accusation before leaving.
As the London Free Press correctly points out, Timbits are routinely given away to dogs in cars at the drive-through window. They are “day-old and recycled” Timbits, often wolfed down by the human occupants in the car, too smart to feed sweets to their pets.
Mercifully, Nicole was offered a job with Tim Hortons at another location and accepted it.
Meanwhile, maybe it’s time for Timbit management to take a course in PR.

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Politically correct governments down at the local liquor store

May 4th, 2008

Canada Free Press tekkie supremo Brian Thompson can’t get over the hypocrisy of politically correct governments like Ontario’s Dalton McGuinty Liberals.  On his last trek to the liquor store in order to pick up some wine for dinner, he was handed his wine in a paper bag. He promptly asked for a plastic bag. “Well, next time you come, you can bring your own cloth bag if you wish,” an LCBO cashier told him.”But I want a plastic bag,” Brian insisted. Plastic bags have been banned by the McGuinty regime which goes so far out of its way to protect the great unwashed from themselves.It’s okay to drink liver-dessicating alcohol, but you don’t get to carry it home in a plastic bag.In the Province of Ontario, Big Brother’s name is “Uncle Dalty”.

Posted in Bureaucracy, Uncategorized | No Comments »

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

May 4th, 2008

Sent in by Chuck Brucks… 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 

‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.’  

 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 

‘You better pray that will come out of the carpet.’  

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Bottom liners

April 30th, 2008

Reams have been written about U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama. Is he fish or fowl? Why is he so difficult to pin down on actual agendas, etc., etc.,. etc.
The best line I ever saw on Obama comes from bottom liner Thomas Sowell, senior felow at the Hoover Institute, author of the best-selling book, “Basic Economics: A Citizen’s Guide to the Economy and popular columnist for www.townhall.com. Says Sowell on Obama: “There is no reason why someone as arrogant, foolishly clever and ultimately dangerous as Barack Obama should become president.”

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Daddy’s Poem

April 3rd, 2008

From reader Don Klein:

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy’s Day at school,
and she couldn’t wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn’t there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

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