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Cardio-vascular Health

Heart Attack, Coronary Pain

I'm Not A Good Patient

By Dr. W. Gifford Jones

July 12, 1998

What passes through your mind when you've suffered a heart attack? It's a question I wish I didn't have to answer. But I've recently returned home following a coronary attack. There's little doubt that coming close to greeting your "Maker" is an eye©opener. And editors have asked me to write about it.

First, there's a huge shock to the psyche. One moment I was sitting at my computer writing a column. The next minute I experienced sudden severe chest pain. There's no doubt I was suffering an acute coronary attack.

My first reaction when the pain occurred was incredibility. Then the thought that the timing was terrible. I was leaving for Buenos Aires in one week to attend my son's wedding. My wife and I had been studying Spanish for months. So I hated to admit to coronary pain. I hoped like hell I only had severe indigestion. But I realized immediately this was wishful thinking.

The next few days were a nightmare. Suddenly I was thrust into intensive care with doctors and nurses struggling to save my life. At one point blood pressure and heart rate dropped to dangerously low levels. What's called a "balloon pump" had to be inserted into the main artery of the leg to increase the blood supply to coronary arteries. Not a pleasant procedure.

Next, I became aware of interminably long days and nights. The wait for reports to determine the extent of damage to the heart muscle. Monotony. And of course the reaction, "Is this really happening to me?"

It is said that "your whole life flashes by" when your life is hanging on the edge. But as I look back on those days this didn't happen to me. My recurring thoughts and fears were about my wife and children. I hated the thought of leaving them. It was an agonizing time.

Eventually I also succumbed to the over©riding fact that strikes every sick physician. That it's difficult when a lay person becomes ill. But for the physician it's doubly harrowing to be the subject of a critical illness. Doctors are used to providing care, not receiving it. The role change, is a difficult adjustment, one almost impossible to accept.

Doctors will never make good patients. They know too much about the disease. They're terribly aware of what can go wrong, how often and how easily. And I was no exception this rule.

Like other patients I felt isolated and vulnerable. WithÔ 0*0*0* endless time to think about the consequences.

Being a physician and medical journalist I asked myself the obvious question. Why have I had a heart attack? After all I had done all the things I've advised readers to do.

My weight remained at 145 pounds for decades. I had tried to keep my blood well©oiled, and the good cholesterol elevated, by daily exercise and vitamin E. In retrospect I should have added a daily baby Aspirin to the list. For years I'd consumed antioxidant vitamins C and E and recently B vitamins to help decrease blood levels of homocysteine. I used alcoholic drinks in moderation. I wasn't diabetic, hypertensive and I'd tossed cigarettes away 42 years ago.

But there were two things I couldn't control. First, getting older is very dangerous. Secondly, there's no way to change genetics. My Mother had suffered a coronary attack at about the same age. (She still lived to 93.)

I found accepting illness very difficult. Dr. Howard M. Spino, Professor of Medicine at Yale University writes, "Physician invincibility goes hand in hand with denial." Doctors, to be effective, must don the robe of the omnipotent healer, immune to disease. In doing so doctors assume a myth with a fatal flaw. The mistaken notion that they are invulnerable.

My reaction to hospital life? I can now understand the loneliness and isolation that patients feel while in hospital. And for someone who dislikes medication it was a shock to be forced to take so many pills. And I wondered "If the heart attack doesn't kill me, all the X©ray radiation and CAT scans may".

At the moment I'm scheduled for a coronary by©pass operation. Like any surgeon I feel like running for the woods! But I also have a desire to remain part of the human race in spite of its foibles.

I'm also convinced that work leads to a longer more rewarding life. So in spite of this current problem I still intend to retire 10 years after I die.

Needless to say I have time on my hands and would enjoy hearing from readers. You can write to Dr. Ken Walker (W. GiffordªJones) King's Medical Centre, 250 University Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, M5H 3E5.


W. Gifford-Jones M.D is the pen name of Dr. Ken Walker graduate of Harvard. Dr. Walker's website is: Docgiff.com

My book, �90 + How I Got There� can be obtained by sending $19.95 to:

Giff Holdings, 525 Balliol St, Unit # 6,Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1E1

Pre-2008 articles by Gifford Jones
Canada Free Press, CFP Editor Judi McLeod