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Environmentalist college students in CA marry the ocean. ...And then they consummate their nuptials.

By Robert Laurie ——--May 27, 2016

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The age-old stereotype of the tree-hugging hippie has been taken to new heights by students at Santa Monica College. "Hugging" may be fine for beginners, but there's a new breed of environmentalist nutjob that demands hotter, heavier, action from their Earth-partner. They want to get married, and they want their wedding night to burst with all the raw power and eroticism of a Gustav Klimt drawing. Yes, you read that right. These students married the Earth ...and then had their way with it.
As Campus Reform reports:
Earlier this month, a professor at Santa Monica College led students in an ‘EcoSexual Sextravaganza’ in which participants ‘married the ocean.’ Amber Katherine, a philosophy professor who helped organize the May 14 event, explained to Campus Reform that the purpose of the “wedding” was to bring about a deeper love for the planet through “ecocentric passion and even lust.” The ceremony began with Bruce Cartier, a former SMC student, proclaiming to those gathered at Santa Monica Beach that “today we stand upon this holy earth and in this sacred space to witness the rite of matrimony between the sea and us all.” Next, leaders of the event distributed rings to the students, announcing “with this ring, I bestow upon the sea the treasures of my mind heart and hands—as well as my body and soul. With the power vested in us, we now pronounce you ‘married to the sea.’”
Because these people are eager with a capital "E," they didn't even wait for the ink to dry on the licenses. They waddled out into the water and thrust whatever they could into their new oceanic bride.
Some students then made their way down to the water, where they were urged by event organizers to “consummate” the marriage and “make love with the water.” “Stick your toes in the water … or any part of your body that you want.”
Ohhhh yeah. Cue the '70s wakkachicka porno soundtrack. I know what you're thinking. "Sure, we ALL want to marry the Earth, but these people must be crazy. I've asked the Earth to marry me a dozen times and never got a response. Did the Earth consent to this, or was it just some kind of sick planetary sexual assault?" You were thinking that, right? Well, fear not. These students had no intention of raping the ocean. They totally got the globe's consent first.
One attendee of the event—who identified herself only as “Serenity”—spoke about the importance of gaining consent from the earth before proceeding with a physical relationship. “Back when I would hug trees in Santa Cruz, I would sort of ask the tree if it was okay if I hugged it and I would feel their spirit or energy or something give a response back, and then proceed accordingly,” she told The Corsair. “Consent is definitely important. Do you think the Earth would consent to fracking and pollution? Probably not”.
Phew. Crisis narrowly averted.

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Here's a video of the event. Don't worry; it's safe for work - provided your place of employment allows you to watch videos of people going bat-crap insane. I'm tempted to make a point about the fact that there's tuition involved here - people are paying for this. There's at least one person organizing this who's an actual professor at a real honest-to-goodness college and, in defiance of all logic, she earns a taxpayer-supported paycheck in that capacity. But why bother? Left coast collegiate insanity is almost as old as the left coast itself. It's better, and less frustrating, to just point at the crazies, laugh, and then head off to work. After all, someone has to generate the welfare tax dollars that will support these people once they've gotten their worthless degrees.
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Robert Laurie——

Robert Laurie’s column is distributed by HermanCain.com, which can be found at HermanCain.com

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