Laptop and Parrot "Marriage" Case Against Kim Davis Dismissed

ASHLAND, KY - A Kentucky district judge, Henry Wilhoit, dismissed a lawsuit in which Chris Sevier and Elizabeth Ording demanded the constitutional right to marry their laptop and parrot, respectively. These two individuals were seeking to demonstrate that marriage is not a right but a privilege that is narrowly defined and thus sued Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin, Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis, and Attorney General Andy Beshear. Surprisingly, it took the court nine months to reach this decision.

Plaintiffs are asking this Court to recognize their constitutional rights to marry an inanimate object and an animal

Plaintiffs have filed similar cases in Texas, Tennessee, Utah and South Carolina. Judge Wilhoit states, "Plaintiffs are asking this Court to recognize their constitutional rights to marry an inanimate object and an animal. No such constitutional rights exist, nor are any known constitutional rights violated by the denial of a marriage license under these circumstances." A South Carolina judge found the plaintiffs' claims "implausible, fanciful and frivolous." Judge Wilhoit simply concluded "This court agrees." "Of course this case sounds ridiculous," said Mat Staver, Founder and Chairman of Liberty Counsel. "To marry a laptop computer or a parrot is nonsense, but the same was said about same-sex marriage, and yet there are now five lawyers on the U.S Supreme Court who pulled that rabbit out of a hat. From time immemorial, marriage has been the union of a man and a woman. The natural created order, the law of nature and revealed law establish the male-female paradigm. For millennia of human history, earthly law and custom affirmed the natural law. Deconstructing nature comes with a price. Unfortunately, children will be directly affected by the deconstruction of natural marriage," said Staver.