American people are stressed out. We have to make too many choices. Thankfully our Congress Critters think they have the solution to all our problems. Eliminate choices.
Face it we, as free people, just have too many choices to make. Look at all the brands of cereal on the store shelves. Many have sugar and taste good. But that is no excuse. There is no need to have so many brands of cereal. Look at all the waste in the different containers. How many trees were killed to make those containers? We should only have one cereal – in a non- descript bag.
Why have dozens of brands of toilet paper? Who cares if one is softer? Since there is one primary use for toilet paper we don’t need more than one brand. Walk through any supermarket and look at all the choices you have for any commodity. From the soups, bread, canned vegetables, etc. we have too many choices to make at the supermarket. No wonder there are so many people depressed. The people in the good old Soviet Union never had to cope with making these decisions.
Our schools still allow students to play competitive sports. But imagine the pressure a batter has in a baseball game. If the batter hits a home run, the opponents face defeat and loss of self-esteem. If the batter hits a line drive into the face of an incompetent fielder, the batter may face a lawsuit. Save the students the pain of making these choices – competitive sports must be banned.
Well our Congress Critters are helping us out and slowly eliminating choices. The recent energy bill has taken necessary steps to reduce some of the choices we have to make. For example the energy bill will eliminate the incandescent light bulb. But we will still have to choose between compact fluorescent light (CFL) and light-emitting diodes (LEDs)? Our Congress Critters should bravely step up and make that decision for us. While they are at it they should select the manufacturer.
The energy bill will also virtually eliminate the American automobile as we know it. Soon you will no longer be able to hear the thunder of a powerful V8. You will only hear the quiet whisper of an eco-car. But with various types of eco-cars – will we pick the right one? Probably not, so our Congress Critters should decide which eco-car we should drive. While they are at it they should pick the color too. With the demise of the American automobile – auto racing will also die. No more Indy 500 or Daytona 500 because who would want to see a pack of eco-cars humming around the track for 500 miles? Yawn! One less decision we will have to make.
Knowing that you aren’t smart enough to pick the right TV technology, the Congress Critters are also preparing to pick the ‘right’ TV for you. You might be smart enough to flush a toilet but you aren’t smart enough to select the ‘right’ toilet, so the low flush toilet has been selected for you.
Knowing that you are too dumb to have health insurance for you and your family, politicians are planning on mandating that you have health insurance and they will even decide exactly what coverage you need. Don’t worry about the cost; the government will pay for it. That’s like almost free. What a relief, I was afraid I’d have to make a decision and then actually have to pay for it.
The local ‘want to be’ Congress Critters are also working at eliminating choices. Yes, local politicians are also working to free you from decision making. You no longer have to worry about choosing where to smoke – it’s banned everywhere except in your air tight closet. But smokers still must smoke and pay tobacco taxes to support all those programs that save the children.
Our nanny politicians are at work banning transfats, foie gras, and other food products. With all these banned products you wouldn’t know that our life expectancy was increasing before all this government meddling. Soon we will be forced to exist on a diet of unseasoned tofu. But that is good – fewer choices to cloud your brain.
I’m surprised that politicians trust us to vote for them. Whoops! I shouldn’t have mentioned that.
