WhatFinger


Read these feminist poems while you clean out your desk!

While firing 100 sports-related employees, ESPN runs 'Five poets on the new feminism'



On Monday, ESPN announced it would be firing a gaggle of writers, on-air talent, and radio personalities. As subscribers and ratings decline, the former sports network has been forced (repeatedly) to trim its stable of on-air talent, writers, and radio personalities. Initially they claimed 40-50 jobs would get the axe. Yesterday, we learned ESPN's employee bloodbath would involve over 100 people. Since they've announced no plans to alter their programming - other than to implement some kind of streaming service - we can only conclude that this is a temporary solution. Without major reconfiguration, they'll probably need to do this again in a few years.
Here's a partial list of the ESPN employees who received pink slips yesterday, via Detroit's WDIV:
NHL columnist Pierre LeBrun NHL writer Joe McDonald NHL columnist Scott Burnside College basketball reporter Dana O'Neil Soccer writer Mike Goodman ESPNU anchor Brendan Fitzgerald Big Ten reporter Jesse Temple Big Ten football reporter Austin Ward MLB analyst Jim Bowden Baseball reporter Mark Saxon College football reporter Brett McMurphy ESPN Dallas writer Jean-Jacques Taylor College basketball writer Eamonn Brennan College football reporter Jeremy Crabtree College basketball reporter C.L. Brown Columnist Johnette Howard Dan Sharfin SEC analyst Derek Tyson Big Ten reporter Brian Bennett MLB writer Jayson Stark Big 12 reporter Max Olson ESPNW reporter Jane McManus David Ching Doug Padilla Danny Kanell NFL analyst Trent Dilfer Pac 12 reporter Ted Miller NBA reporter Sherwood Strauss Anchor Jay Crawford ESPNW writer Melissa Isaacson Houston Rockets writer Calvin Watkins College basketball analyst Len Elmore NFL analyst Ashley Fox NBA reporter Justin Verrier Radio host Robin Lundberg Expert Rufus Peabody College sports reporter Chantel Jennings Anchor Chris Hassel Anchor Jaymee Sire Roger Cossack The Hollywood Reporter reports that Karl Ravech, Ryen Russillo, and Hannah Storm will see their roles at the network “significantly reduced.” They also report that ESPN will not renew John Buccigross's contract this summer. (Update: THR now says Buccigross could see reduced contract)

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We honestly feel for those losing their jobs, but we can't say we're surprised. The more ESPN veers into the left-wing politics, the more unwatchable it's become. Couple that with cord-cutting and ever increasing licensing fees, and you've got the makings of a death spiral. Fortunately, ESPN is not some cold-hearted corporate behemoth. They "feel the pain" of their ex-employees. So, as they were recieveing their termination notices, the network's website was running heavy-handed articles guaranteed make them feel better. We're sure the new job-seekers appreciated reading EspnW's "Five poets on the new feminism" as they cleared out their desks. Yeah, you read that right. As EspnW says, "In honor of National Poetry month, espnW asked five poets to reflect on resistance, redefining feminism and movement." Again, this ran - literally - as the termination letters were going out. You're going to love it. Who wouldn't? The sentiments contained are the kinds of things that really make the sting of losing your job - at an alleged SPORTS NETWORK - more bearable.
"Revolution ain't a date in a history book It's an ivy that thorns A lily that pricks. It stings Like the splash of a copper colored girl running in a skinned knee ruining her Easter dress"
Yeah, you're looking for a new gig, but the revolution continues. ESPN may not have any sports writers left, but they still have time for feminist poets. Instead of navel-gazing, you should be celebrating! Ok, ok, fine. So, that one didn't do it for you. Here's one called "Postcard from Diana Prince on Themyscira." The recently-fired may have lost the ability to pay for that new swimming pool, but surely a poem about Wonder Woman and her home island will ease the pain:

Picture a riot of blue cliffs, a coastal strip enemies brand as myth and mirage, for what place, once seen, has ever been but a small blip on man's lusty conquistador radar? Right. Just think of any gimcrack bar in Nevada headlining GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS except forget the X's for sex and wet tequila double-dog dares. Here, there's only curls of cat-scratch rope for a moment's thrilled athletic play.
Inspiring, right!? What's that? You'd rather have the money for your pool? Sorry, that's not going to happen. Have another poem instead...
The future is female, we hear, but the past -- the past is also female. The past is our beginning and the future -- is also where we start, where we come from.
Yes, as Criswell famously said, "We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future." That future will likely not include a certain cable sports outfit. Congratulations ESPN. We can only assume you learned how to double down from all that poker you show on the weekends.


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