November 3, 2003
It’s no secret that Howard Wilson, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien’s ethics councillor leaves something to be desired. As Wilson reports to the PM and not to Parliament, he cannot be fully responsible for the fact that his office goes a long way in making Canada resemble a country that grows tropical fruit. That being said, and given the multitude of sleaze that occupies the Liberal front benches, you would think that Wilson could find at least one cabinet minister was wrong for taking an all-expense paid trip to Irving World. But alas, no.
Clearly the prime ministerial lap puppy should have been replaced a long time ago. It would be hard to find the right person to fill Wilson’s paws but you couldn’t ask for a better candidate than Judy Sheindlin, otherwise known as Judge Judy. Even though Sheindlin is, as the Liberals would say, "one of those damn bastards", she would do an excellent job.While some cabinet ministers such as Claudette Bradshaw, quickly apologized and paid money for her Irving freebee, others such as Industry Minister Allan Rock spend weeks whining about how they did nothing wrong. If Judy were counsellor, she could get to the bottom of Rock’s conduct in the time it takes her to decide all her cases (15 minutes) and the government could get back to dealing with more serious issues such as who really is the prime minister these days.
Judge Judy: Now as I understand it, Mr. Rock, you were a cabinet minister when you accepted a free vacation for your entire family at a fishing lodge owned by the Irvings while the Irvings were involved in business deals with the government. And you failed to report this all expense paid trip to the previous Ethics Counsellor. Is that right?
Allan Rock: More or less
Judge Judy: What do you mean more or less?
Allan Rock: Well I did report it
Judge Judy: A lot later, sir!!
Allan Rock: Yes
Judge Judy: Speak up, I can hardly hear you
Allan Rock: Okay, YES
Judge Judy: Well, why didn’t you report it?
Allan Rock: I was Minister of Health at the time and I had no dealings with the Irvings, and…
Judge Judy: Do you have a copy of the guidelines with you?
Allan Rock: Yes, right here…
Judge Judy: Let me see them. Judge Judy glances at the guidelines. Sir, these guidelines are for the conduct of cabinet ministers. Show me where it says that it only applies to cabinet ministers other than the Minister of Health.
Allan Rock: silence
Judge Judy: Sir, you were a cabinet minister and you accepted a gift of more than $200 and the rules say that you had to report it. Why didn’t you report it?
Allan Rock: I forgot, you see…
Judge Judy: What did you forget sir? Did you forget that you were a cabinet minister or did you forget that you were on vacation or did you forget that the vacation was a gift? Which one is it?
Allan Rock: I just forgot.
Judge Judy: Now you agreed with the former Ethics Counsellor that you would not participate in anything involving the Irvings during a one-year period, yet during this period you signed an authorization to release funds to the Irvings. Why did you not comply with that decision?
Allan Rock: Well, I didn’t take part in the cabinet decision. All I did was sign for the release of funds. I had to sign because I was the Minister. I had to sign it. I am the Minister. No one else could sign to release the funds.
Judge Judy: So no one else could sign, is that what you’re trying to tell me? So, if you were in an accident and in a coma and couldn’t sign, then the funds could never have been released. Is that what you’re telling me? No one in the government could be delegated the authority to sign?
Allan Rock: Well…
Judge Judy: Sir! How stupid do you think I am? No one else in the entire government could sign that document. You’re lyyyy-ing!!
Allan Rock: No, I’m …
Judge Judy: Lyyyy-ing!!!
Judge Judy: I notice that when your colleague, Claudette Bradshaw got caught taking a free trip on Irving Air, she paid the money back. Have you reimbursed the Irvings for your vacation?
Allan Rock: No, I haven’t.
Judge Judy: And why not?
Allan Rock: Well, I discussed that with the previous Ethics Councillor and we agreed that it was just too hard to put a price on the vacation.
Judge Judy: Looks over to the bailiff. Hey, Bert. It’s a good thing this guy’s not the Finance Minister, isn’t it.
Bert: Laughs. Well he’s not too good with numbers. Remember the gun registry.
Judge Judy: I forgot about that.
Judge Judy: Okay, Mr. Rock. You will reimburse the Irvings for the cost of the vacation that I value at $20,000.
Allan Rock: But….but…
Judge Judy: Don’t say anything or the cost will go up faster than the cost of the gun registry has. Do you understand that?
Allan Rock: Yes, ma’am.
Allan Rock’s ethical breach has been resolved. It took less than 15 minutes.