by Klaus Rohrich
august 26, 2004
Every year around this time, the networks start crowing about the new programs they will feature in the fall. Below are some new programs that you might be likely to see on the CBC as it attempts to include more Canadian content.
Welcome Back Khadr- (Comedy series, Wed. 8:00 PM) Follow the crazy antics of the Khadr family as each week they find themselves in a new predicament requiring the intervention of the Prime Minister of Canada. In the first episode ahmed Said Khadr, the family patriarch, is just back from Pakistan where he was busy helping to make widows and orphans through his Canadian-based charity. Maha Ensamnah, ahmed’s long-suffering wife is trying to convince him that it would be best for their 4 boys to attend private school, as she was concerned about the homosexuals in Canada’s public schools. and, she’s found the perfect one: trouble is, it’s in afghanistan and the headmaster is Osama Bin Laden. The boys, however, would much rather stay in public school, despite their parents’ concerns. It’s a zany thirty minutes as misunderstandings and mix-ups that yield a surprising conclusion.
Sex and the Kiddy- (Drama, Tues. 8:30) In this dramatic series, the camera follows the trials and tribulations of andre Springbok, a young man who discovers that he is unlike all the other young men. He prefers the company of young boys, rather than women. It’s a gritty look at the suffering and heart wrenching circumstances that make everyone, including andre, a victim. Rated R.
Sex and the Kitty- (Drama, Tues. 9:00 PM, see above) as an adjunct to the program on pederasts, this program takes an honest look at some not so mainstream alternative lifestyles. It details the lives of three Canadians, each of whom is in love with his or her pet. Chantal Gaspe, a Montreal librarian loves her Dachshund, Schtrolch. Bob Litterman, a Toronto lawyer, is passionate about his cat, Muffy, while Jerry O’Malley of Vancouver wants to marry his sheep. Rated R.
Porn Free- (adult, Monday 11:00 PM) an expose of free pornographic downloads from the Internet. This in-depth expose covers all forms of exploitive sexual behaviour and exposes the web sites, where these images are available for free. Rated R.
Canadian Graffiti- (art and Culture, Thurs. 9:30 PM) a wide-ranging tour of Canada’s cities and their Graffiti. Hosted by Pierre Berton, the program focuses on a new city and several graffiti artists each week. The first week features the works of KootKiaktuk, an Innu artist whose "canvas" is Nunavut. Rated F
The Parent Crap- (Teens, Daily at 6:00 PM) an understanding at the travails that today’s teens have to undergo. "Clean your room!" "Be home by midnight!" "Study!" and many other parental imperatives that cause anxiety among today’s teenagers. Segments feature interviews with teens that have resorted to swarming, teens that feel a sense of belonging in a gang, and teens that steal from their parents. Rated F.
Banjhat Singh M.D.- (Drama. Sat. 9:00 PM) Dr. Singh, Chief of Medicine at Vancouver’s Hospital for Sikh People, undergoes a series of challenges that he must face each week. In this season opener, Dr. Singh is confronted with a puzzling medical dilemma. The paramedics have brought in a seemingly insensible elderly Sikh man, who, it turns out, has eaten twelve sticks of dynamite. His plan was to board an India-bound airliner and blow himself, and the plane, up over the Pacific. However, at the last moment, he had second thoughts and now wants the dynamite removed. It’s an explosive situation that climaxes in a big surprise.
Crossing Borden- (Historical drama, Sunday 8:00 PM) The true story of Cpl. Gaston Trudeau who deserted his unit to avoid being sent overseas from Camp Borden during World War II. It details the struggle Trudeau had as he made his way across the vast wilderness of CFB Borden in an effort to return to his family in Montreal. a poignant view of pacifism. Rated G.
Lawn Order- (Gardening, Sat 10:30 aM) Dr. David Suzuki talks about the importance of maintaining land in its pristine condition. He demonstrates how as an alternative to manicuring gardens, you can create a beautiful natural garden, featuring glorious arrays of Goldenrod, Ragweed, Scotch Thistle, Dandelions and Milkweed. Rated F.
Green Fakers- (Gardening, Sat. 11:00 aM) as an adjunct to Dr. Suzuki’s program, CBC News’s amanita Muscaria exposes the irreparable damage to the environment caused each year by the lawn care industry. She interviews scientists who prove beyond a doubt that lawnmowers and fertilizers are big factors in global warming. She demonstrates how so-called pesticides are killing in excess of 100,000 children in Canada each year. Rated PG.
The Bachelor (ette)- (Reality, Fri. 9:00 PM) Follow the everyday lives of Bob and Ted and Carol and alice, two gay couples who are attempting to get married, despite legal obstacles placed by reactionary courts and homophobic conservatives. Rated PG 13.
Critics who have previewed the programs are raving about the originality and inventiveness of our national broadcaster. The Toronto Star calls the fall programs "an intelligent and outstanding exposition of Canada’s superior creativity". The Montreal Gazette pronounced it "a true reflection of our national identity", while le Devoir pronounces the lineup "magnifique!" If you’re a true Canadian committed to Canadian values, then you’ll only watch the CBC this fall.