by arthur Weinreb, associate Editor,
February 23, 2004
In Ontario the parents of fore students are goin to court and sayin that requiring students to, like, pass a literusy test before they can graduate are discriminatory and unfair. These parents say that, like, making someone pass, like a readin and writin test before they can, like, go to colleje, is, like, against the Charter of Rights.
These parunts are right. Why do yous have to be literut in order to have to, like, graduate from hi skool. Learnin to reed and rite has absolutely nuthin to do with a person who, like, goes to university. Their are lots of things that, like, a university grajewate can do that, they like, don’t have to be literut for.
Yous don’t gotta be literat to become president of Kanada. alls you have to do is to be, like, able to say, "Hey, like, I ain’t responsible for, like, nothin." "Don’t, like, blame I" I cants even read all those, like, documents that I, like, sined.
For all those unliterut grajewates, if they, like, look good, and are, like, diverse, theys can always get a job at Citytv doings the news. Yous don’t have to no nutthin to talk about, like, stuff at Citytv. all yous have to do is, like, look good and like wear funny lookin clothes. and if you can, like, yell real loud, you can gets a job doin sports.
The argooment for like, not requiring students in universities to be literut is because some of them, like, can’t be literut because, like, they have, like, learning disabilities, right. They shuld be allowed to gets into, like, universities even thow they aren’t like literut. Just like guys who, like, play for the Toronto Maple Leefs can, like, play hockey, while they have, like fisical disabilities. That’s why the Leefs ain’t haven’t won the Stanley cup since, like, 1967, which is like, 50 years ago.
If unliterut students are, like, prevented from grajewating from, like, high scool, then, like, their gonna feel, like really bad, right. and when them will feel, like really really bad, they’ll like go out an use drugs and stuff and, like reck there whole lives.
The country would be worser off if that happened and its, like, real scary to think how the country could be any worser than it is now. So you gotta let, like the illertuts done go to collage.
If you have to be literut to grajewate hi scool, the next thing yous know is, like, you would have to be literut to get a job riting in a noosepaper.