By Michael M. Bates
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Legend has it that in the 11th Century Lady Godiva rode naked through the streets of Coventry to persuade her husband to reduce the taxes he'd imposed on the peasantry. If that truly happened, it was probably the last time someone got naked in public on behalf of a conservative cause.
That came to mind this weekend as the World Naked Bike Ride was held to condemn our dependence on oil and the cars fueled by it. The protests took place in London, Madrid and other cities with sufficient numbers of people who don't think very clearly.
Unsurprisingly, there was a naked bike ride in Chicago with dozens of participants. Rarely is there any mindless idea that doesn't draw at least some adherents in the Windy City, often elected officials.
TV station aBC 7 quoted one of the bike riders: "We got a lot of positive response from people. The police were great in the city. Even though they don't sanction this, they were very polite and kept us safe."
Kept them safe? Shouldn't the cops have arrested these buffoons for public indecency or public hilarity or something? Sure, Chicago's been a Democrat town for many years, but certainly there's still at least one law that would have applied.
Taking it all off is a quick way to get noticed in our media-saturated age. So the tactic has been used for a number of years by People for the Ethical Treatment of animals (PETa) with its "We'd rather go naked than wear fur" motto.
PETa founder Ingrid Newkirk set the terms of the discussion when she asserted: "Six million Jews died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses." If you don't see that chickens are comparable to human beings, then you're a specist, man. Your world-view desperately needs straightening out.
Despite, or possibly because of, its loony perspective, PETa has snagged assorted people, including a few celebrities or near-celebs, to shed it all for the cause. Models Christy Turlington and Naomi Campbell and actress Kim Basinger did so. as did former basketball player Dennis Rodman, although it's doubtful he needs much encouragement to get buck naked.
Nudity has also been used to protest the war in Iraq. In California, a group called Unreasonable Women Baring Witness gathered a couple of years ago to form the word "peace" with their naked bodies.
So pleased were they with the results that they held another, larger protest later. Not only did they do they spell out the word again, they even managed to form Ho Chi Minh's favorite symbol, the so-called peace sign, with their sinewy and supple carcasses.
The second time around they had some men join them. I'm sure most of those guys were extremely committed, mainly to scoping out some cheeky gals.
a similar group exists in England. Called Bare Witness (not much originality among these sensitive idealists, is there?), that organization initially did the obligatory "peace" with naked people.
But there are so many causes and so little time that they quickly moved on. Their next jaunt had them spelling out "NO GM." The GM to which they were objecting isn't General Motors, although no doubt that company will eventually qualify for this special treatment.
No, GM here stands for genetically-modified food. Indisputably that's a burning issue for dozens, maybe even hundreds, around the world.
at a 2003 meeting of the World Trade Organization in sunny Cancun, protestors, justifiably worried about how dangerous free trade can be, spelled out "No WTO." To avoid confusion, they did it first in Spanish and then in English.
On a February day, New York's Central Park served as the venue for about 30 nude women who formed "No Bush." I believe their hostility was directed toward President George W. Bush, but their message was rather cryptic and perhaps I shouldn't jump to that conclusion.
So where are the conservative protestors, the people who aren't opposed to using cars and eating meat and fighting terrorism and engaging in free trade? The ones who oppose abortion, believe in the 2nd amendment and aren't offended by traditional moral values?
Well, they're clearly not out promoting their views by taking off their clothes. They don't need to.
Liberal extremists can't usually count on persuasive arguments to win over the hearts and the minds of the average person. They resort to over the top tactics to grab a little attention, hoping folks will miss the inanity of whatever it is they're peddling that particular day.
It hasn't worked. They'll keep at it, though, because they know that doffing their duds will, however fleetingly, get them the attention they crave.
This appears in the June 16, 2005 Oak Lawn (IL) Reporter. Mike Bates is the author of Right angles and Other Obstinate Truths.
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