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From the Editor

2005: The Year of the Revisionist

by Judi McLeod
Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Welcome to 2005, `Year of the Big Revisionist'.

The Ides of March, 2005 was the first day consumers could purchase one of the world's most widely read Bibles, the New International Version–fully "revised".

archaic language in the Holy Book must have been getting to the tragically hip. So much so that a team of 15 american and British scholars were sent to parse and modernize it.

Would it be too politically correct to say what the scholars really did? They watered the offensive Bible down and whitewashed its words under the time-wasting guise of only wanting to modernize it.

The original writers of the Bible did not enjoy the same working conditions of 21st century scholars. There were no government grants going the rounds, and, of course there were always the jaws of the waiting lions.

We cannot say how the lions and lambs fared in the thousands of corrections made by the scholars.

But the "aliens" in biblical tales are now "foreigners".

With everyone at the United Nations now claiming to be one, the scholars likely didn't get around to re-naming the word "angels".

The term "saints", which may have been good enough for the faithful, but not good enough for the bible clean-up crew, got axed. Too "ecclesiastical", they said. From now on, you can call Francis, agnes and Patrick saints in your memory, but they have been banished in favour of the description, "God's chosen people".

The Virgin Mary, for your information, is no longer "with child". She is "pregnant". at least these busybodies of academe did not resort to the colloquialism of "preggers".

Remember the age-old truism that when God created man he created him in the likeness of God? It now reads when "God created human beings", etc., etc.

Most readers of the Holy Book already knew that when it was describing the death of the unfortunate Naboth, it meant that he had met his death by stoning. The Bible never meant to leave the impression that Naboth was toking.

The language cops must have wanted us to be sure, so they changed the biblical description from "Naboth has been stoned and is dead" to "Naboth has been stoned to death."

That ought to be dumbed down enough to include even the Village Idiot.

That's modern-day revisionists at work on the Holy Bible.

While the scholars were busy sanitizing the life and times of Naboth, a group of "literary stars" were involving themselves in what is mainline media-described as "the most ambitious international publishing venture ever". The mission of the literati, headed by Canadian author Margaret atwood, is the modern rewriting of dozens of ancient myths by the world's leading novelists–with the books to be issued simultaneously in 30 languages around the globe.

They'll likely be consulting charts to make sure it's issued on the night of a full moon.

atwood, who won 2002's Booker Prize for The Blind assassin, is "reinterpreting" the epic Trojan War-era tale of Odysseus and Penelope. She intends to turn the telling of the 2,500-year-old Greek classic upside down with a heroine-centred narrative called The Penelopiad.

"The story as told in The Odyssey doesn't hold water; there are too many inconsistencies," atwood said of Homer's original story in a statement released at the London Book Fair, where the landmark series, The Myths was announced.

The long dead Homer, unfortunately cannot tell atwood how he would rate her epic works.

It surely must require the most supreme confidence in one's own talents to set about attacking and rewriting a 2,500-year-old classic.

But there are no guarantees a reading public will be rushing to the stands to pick up simultaneously released copies of The Myths.

Ditto for the arrogance of the Matthews, Lukes and Johns who would dare to rewrite the Bible. They are changing what many accept as the Word of the Lord.

Dreaming in Technicolor or not, there's always an irksome occupational hazard that comes with being a big-R Revisionist. You can revise anything you want. Problem is, how can you ever make it real?

Canada Free Press founding editor Most recent by Judi McLeod is an award-winning journalist with 30 years experience in the print media. Her work has appeared on Newsmax.com, Drudge Report, Foxnews.com, Glenn Beck. Judi can be reached at: judi@canadafreepress.com


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