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"Saviour of the Sheeple"

Make Way for Presidential Candidate `She-He-It'

By Judi McLeod

Saturday, February 3, 2007

With all of the leftist media-supported presidential hopefuls climbing out of the pit, Canada Free Press has dreamed up a can't-miss perfect presidential candidate for the Dems: `Presidential Candidate She-He-It (those who dare to call the candidate as the name sounds will be turned in to the ACLU). Republican rednecks take note: "It's pronounced He space, She, space It--and not the rude run together, `Sheeit'.

Presidential Candidate She-He-It is destined to decimate any chances for Obama Barack as the first official cross gender person in the race.

She-He-It is not only the precise politically correct mix of black and white; She-He-It has a broad red stripe down his, her and its back. This broad red stripe represents the candidate's aboriginal blood that can be traced back to Geronimo from a gene pool more authentic than Professor Ward Churchill's.

The first cross gender presidential candidate will never source the yellow stripe seen running down the backs of modern-day politicians, that would border on war mongering and would be too politically incorrect.

The "she" side of the cross gender candidate insists her body is her own and is, therefore 100% pro abortion. The "he" side wants only to adopt several children, which he will raise with one of his boyfriends.

The "it" side will step into any public washroom anywhere, any time in any state of the borderless union. Should anyone complain, there will be a class action suit originating from its ultra sensitive "it" side.

Presidential Candidate She-He-It is as green as the grass used to be before global warming hit. Hillary Clinton only wants to stop the war as her fist official act as USA President. This candidate is willing to go so much further by banning Christmas and outlawing Christianity.

Upon arising each morning, other presidential candidates run to the mirror. This one bows first to the east and tunes in to the pulse of Mother Earth. Having perfected theology at the United Nations Millennium Peace Summit, where according to CNN every religion was represented, "resplendent in an array of saffron robes, purple vestments, white turbans and black cassocks" there's nothing you can tell this candidate about religion.

The Ten Commandments was a fairytale promoted in the Bible. All Moses ever did was part the Red Sea. That's got nothing on former Soviet Union President Mikhail Gorbachev and his Kyoto Protocol architect sidekick Maurice Strong, who will replace the commandments with the UN-sponsored Earth Charter.

Presidential Candidate She-He-It is an avowed vegetarian. People who eat meat are horrid and there's enough tofu and bean sprouts to go around if only we ration pencil slim models and Barbra Streisand.

The candidate will wear green on days other than St. Patrick's Day in respect to climate change; will don a kilt on Robbie Burns' Day and has but a single eye. It's not that She-He-It noshes haggis, it's that under this candidate's presidency every ethnic group will be honored so as not to hurt anybody's feelings, including surly Scots. Its one eye is not there to remind you of Cyclops but to prove that this is the presidential candidate who stands for the physically challenged, too.

Let Nancy Pelosi and Scarlett O'Hara turn up in crimson, people who wear beige to match politically correct beige personalities are much more appropriate in today's government.

After making it to the White House, the president will start off the term as a "she" in order to keep the oft repeated media fact of Pelosi's being the first elected female speaker from going any further to her head. In due time, the new president will switch over to a Henry Reid type "he", and PR giant Hill Knowlton is already working on how to present the president as an "It".

According to the emerging President She-He-It, the United States of America has no borders and sex changes will be as easy as a change of socks for anybody who wants them.

People who deny global warming will be sentenced to long prison terms and be forced to watch Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, non-stop.

University professors who founded conspiracy theory websites that claim that it was really President George W. Bush and Dick Cheney behind 9/11 should automatically have their names submitted to the Noble Peace Prize adjudicators.

After all, why should people like Al Gore and Kofi Annan and Jimmah get all the money?

To President She-He-It, going around smiling at people is as bad as spitting on the street.

Smiles show personalities, good moods and passions, all bad in a world where individual anything is about to be stamped out by the globetrotting UN.

Let the presidential candidates already out of the gate approach the stage accompanied by their own blaring tunes.

Hillary can be sent to the stage with the song, Right Here, Right Now by Jesus Jones and John Edwards can prance along to the words of John Mellencamp's This is Our Country.

Let it be known that Barack Obama marches to his own tune with no music whatsoever, having made it clear he wants to create a somber tone.

With a few little nips and tucks here and there, and a few appendages hanging or tucked away, Presidential Candidate She-He-it is almost ready for the Big Debut.

Presidential Candidate She-He-it will step out accompanied by the sound of a thousand bleating sheep. It's only fitting as PC SHI sees itself as the "Saviour of the Sheeple".

Canada Free Press founding editor Most recent by Judi McLeod is an award-winning journalist with 30 years experience in the print media. Her work has appeared on Newsmax.com, Drudge Report, Foxnews.com, Glenn Beck. Judi can be reached at: judi@canadafreepress.com


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