By Arthur Weinreb
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
As the entire world knows by now, jailbird Paris Hilton had found God and is threatening to turn her life around to the chagrin of the media. In a jailhouse call to ABC's Barbara Walters, the heiress said that she is no longer going to act dumb (it was just an act – who knew?) and after she's sprung, she's going to devote her time to charity work for breast cancer and cystic fibrosis and give up her shallow life in front of the cameras.
It's hard to believe that Hilton will give up her role in life as the real life Seinfeld – signifying absolutely nothing in favour of a meaningful existence. It's even harder to believe that the U.S. tabloid media that includes the major cable "news" networks" can survive without the antics of the spoiled little rich girl. Were it not for Paris Hilton and her legal troubles, CNN, Fox News and MSNBC would have been running dead air all afternoon last Friday instead of showing continuous coverage of "Paris going to court" and "Paris going back to jail". In all probability, Paris Hilton will emerge from jail and produce a video entitled How to Become Completely Rehabilitated in Jail in 20 Minutes or Less. But the news media have to be prepared for the possibility, however remote, that Hilton will change her ways. They'll have to fill the void somehow.
Enter Prince Harry. A hit with the British tabloids and subject to way too much coverage in Canada he'd be a perfect choice to replace a more sedate Paris in the U.S. media if the attention paid to his latest exploits are any indication. The Prince is currently in Alberta training with his regiment for what is expected to be deployment in Afghanistan. Harry hit the tabs after a night of drinking and carousing in a Calgary bar and unmercifully hitting on a bartender whose assets have been constantly described as being "ample". Twenty-two year old Cherie Cymbalisty, the victim of Harry's excited attention took the only recourse open to her; she sold her story to the News of the World for big bucks. If only the Americans could get over the American Revolution Harry would be a sure bet to replace the rehabilitated Paris as the darling of the tabloids and the all news networks. At least he would give Greta something to occupy her time before the next Natalie Holloway turns up.
Unlike Paris Hilton, Prince Harry is getting a bum rap. He was severely criticized for drinking and partying just hours after the 150th British soldier was killed in Iraq. As if he was the only soldier in the coalition forces who was not deployed in a war zone and was drinking that night. It's not as though he is next in line to the throne; he's third and barring a tragedy befalling Prince William before he has a son, he will never become King. So he goes out and gets drunk with his buddies and puts the move on an attractive bartender. So what?
What's missing in all this coverage is that fact that the Prince is a member of the armed forces and was genuinely disappointed that his deployment in Iraq was cancelled. Leaders such as George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Stephen Harper hype the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, sometimes to absurd proportions but you won't see any of their kids running to join the military. Whatever foibles they have, the Royal Family at least don't raise their kids to simply run around and party with their immense wealth like Paris Hilton does. Despite her protestations that her dumbness is just an act, Hilton probably couldn't find Iraq or Afghanistan on a labeled map of the world.
A reformed Paris Hilton would undoubtedly leave a void that could be filled by the third in line to the throne. It will never happen though. Somehow, we'll always have Paris.
Pursuant to Title 17 U.S.C. 107, other copyrighted work is provided for educational purposes, research, critical comment, or debate without profit or payment. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for your own purposes beyond the 'fair use' exception, you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. Views are those of authors and not necessarily those of Canada Free Press. Content is Copyright 1997-2024 the individual authors. Site Copyright 1997-2024 Canada Free Press.Com Privacy Statement