By Robert Laurie ——Bio and Archives--May 22, 2018
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“I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I now actually do want to take your guns. All of your guns. Right now.”Most of his letter is spent informing you that he’s never really minded being around firearms. They weren’t really his thing, but he claims they never bothered him. Now, however, he falsely claims that “American life has gotten deadlier.” Despite the fact that gun violence has plummeted as gun ownership has increased, he’s changed his mind. He wants your guns gone. Now.
So now I’m angry. Now I’m finished trying to reason with you. So now I, a guy who was ambivalent about guns just a few years ago, want to take your guns away. All of them. I want to take them all and melt them down and shape them into a giant sphere and then push it at you so you have to run away from it like Indiana Jones for the rest of your lives. I want Ted Nugent to roam the halls of his gunless house, sighing wearily until he dies. I want to end this thing once and for all, so that all of you who have prioritized the sale of guns over the lives of children have to sit quietly and think about what you’ve done. God help me, I want to take all of your guns out of your hands, by myself, right now.He – sort of – acknowledges that this is a left-wing fever dream before issuing what sounds vaguely like a threat…
It’s happening. We tried it your way, and it really did not work. The ground is shifting. Get ready.Yeeaaaah… Here’s the thing. Gun owners are ready. They’ve been ready for the left to reveal its true intentions since the gun-grabbers first emerged back in the 1910’s. The fact is that everyone -whether they own a gun or not – has known that the elimination of the 2nd Amendment has been one of the left’s top priorities for roughly a hundred years. Sorry, lefties. We may appreciate your newfound honesty, but the public isn’t interested. So, let’s make sure that everyone knows Esquire’s position. Those who are so inclined can cancel their subscriptions, and spend that money on something more useful. We suggest ammo.
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