There aren't enough victim classes

With the Equality Act passing the House Friday, it's obvious America simply doesn't have enough victims. That in mind, it is imperative government establish more and herein is a proposal for an amendment to the legislation when it hits the Senate. Let's see, California has already enacted laws requiring individuals use special language to address transgender individuals despite the near impossibility of selecting the correct pronoun when the sex preference of the person is barely recognizable. More cities than can be counted have created a special victim class for illegal aliens, offering the criminal element sanctuary from legitimate law enforcement. Others have granted street dwellers the right to defecate in whatever public place they wish. Some municipalities have even limited dog walkers from strolling through neighborhoods housing muslims.

Considering NYC had instituted anti-Big Gulp statutes to save citizens from overindulging in sugary beverages, it's time for Big Brother to stand up for the asthmatic and allergy sufferer. Although requiring trees to register their pollen count may be too sweeping to legislate (albeit progressives believe they can calculate and limit bovine gas emissions), noxious perfumes would be well within regulatory scope. Truthfully, anyone sensitive to pungent odors is assaulted every day just by walking out their door. If it's not the foul acrid smell of marijuana surrounding the potheads on every corner of states from Colorado to Washington (and, unlike cigarettes, that will escape regulation because tokers vote democrat), it's the overpowering fragrance of hair and body products that stifles breathing of anyone within a quarter mile of the user. Government is all for protecting the poopers and smokers from polluting the air with consequent odors, but perfume purveyors perhaps should not enjoy the same freedom since their privileged preferences infringe on people with compromised immune systems. (Check the previous paragraph for justifying smell exemptions.) In order to make certain that just about every person belongs to a special interest group, folks with COPD, emphysema, allergies and asthma should now be identified as victims of environmental pollution. It should be an easy pass since cologne manufacturers aren't big lobbies in D.C. It's hard to imagine Chanel and Yves St. Laurent being able to spend enough cash to sideline legislation that outlaw their perfumed products. Except... most of the offending scents wafting through the air are actually produced by chemical manufacturers that do throw around big money in the Swamp.

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Sorry, respiratory sufferers. Looks like your victim status will have to be scratched to yield to stinkum lobbies like those promoting every other detrimental lifestyle man can imagine. Government never promotes good health or it would get its nose out of healthcare in the first place. And what the House' passage of the Equality Act proves is you can't legislate common sense or common courtesy. It might be said that Congress keeps trying but that's not possible since the members have no concept of either. (My apologies to real folks who really suffer shortened breath because some others are oblivious to the fact their preferred fragrance might be causing physical harm to neighbors. In a self-absorbed society that gets offended by parts of speech, a short skirt or a harmless puppy, the rest of us must teach our children propriety and courtesy to change things the right way.)