THE LEFT HAS FINALLY SOLVED CLIMATE CHANGE, MATE WITH SHORT PEOPLE

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In 1977, Randy Newman an American songwriter, composer and pianist known for his southern accent and satirical lyrics wrote a popular song titled, “Short People” The song was obvious satire as anyone who has ever heard it can attest to. Here is a sample of the first verse.

Short people got no reason 
Short people got no reason
 Short people got no reason
 To live

“The Godfather of Shrink Think”

They got little hands
 And little eyes 
And they walk around
 Tellin' great big lies 
They got little noses 
And tiny little teeth
 They wear platform shoes 
On their nasty little feet

When Newman wrote that, he was obviously teasing and joking around with short people. I consider myself fortunate, I can remember good natured ribbing and satire. Today, I’m willing to bet that there would be protests and some liberal head cases would be trying to get the song banned. However, as you know, those same rules don’t apply to liberals. While Randy Newman was joking and having fun, on Sunday, the New York Times posted an opinion piece by Mara Altman titled “There’s Never Been A Better Time To Be Short.” (NY Times, Jan. 1, 2023) The gist of the article is based on a study which was done by another leftist lunatic, Thomas Samaras. Samaras fancies himself to be “The Godfather of Shrink Think.” In the article Altman openly writes that “mating with short people is a step toward a greener planet.” She also states that shorter individuals are “inherent Conservationists.” Now, if some of you are smirking, (as I am), take a moment to consider this. The reason we can smirk is that we can see the absurdity in this reasoning.

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While we can shake our heads and differentiate liberal bullcrap from fact

Altman and Samaras are clearly saying that short people are more environmentally sensitive than taller people. Openly stereotyping taller people, as though this idiotic premise is actually fact. While we can shake our heads and differentiate liberal bullcrap from fact, the left can’t smirk or smile. Everything is serious to them. If you make a statement that they disagree with, they start a “cancel” campaign against you. However, when they make hopelessly idiotic statements, we are supposed to accept it as unmitigated fact, and if you disagree with them you are either racist or suffering from some recently concocted phobia. Back to the article: Samaras claims that: “if Americans were 10 percent shorter it would save 87 million tons of food per year, not to mention trillions of gallons of water, quadrillions of B.T.U.’s of energy and millions of tons of trash.” The absurdity continues as Altman writes:

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Lowering the height minimum for prospective partners on your dating profile is a step toward a greener planet

When you mate with shorter people, you’re potentially saving the planet by shrinking the needs of subsequent generations. Lowering the height minimum for prospective partners on your dating profile is a step toward a greener planet.” Yep, she wrote that, but there’s more.

“Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of the earth’s growing population and “global warming” they may also be best suited for long term survival and not just because more of us will be able to jam into spaceships when we are forced off this planet we wrecked.”

As if Samaras and Altman’s philosophies weren’t bad enough, Altman felt the need to drag in the third stooge. Arne Hendricks is an artist and lecturer who uses his exhibitions and performances to “encourage people to embrace fewer inches.” “The future I envision is different. I want my children’s children to know the value of short. I want them to call themselves short drinks of water with legs for minutes. While one yells, “I’m the shortest,” I hope the other will bend his knees to gain an advantage shouting, “No, I’m the shortest.” Hendriks, who is approximately 6 feet 4 inches, does not allow his children any dairy and limits their sugar intake in order to keep them from getting tall. What a tragic tale. A 6-foot 4-inch man that feels he was “shorted” by not being shorter. You Can’t Make It Up.