William Kevin Stoos

Words we Cannot say in the White House--On Immigration and Terrorists

Hugh Betcha Interviews Obama --Satire-- --There Are No Illegals or Terrorists in America, says the President

This Day of Freedom’s Birth

“Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it.” 
 -- John Quincy Adams

On the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade…..

“Don't fail to rescue those who are doomed to die. Don't say, "I didn't know it!" God can read your mind. He watches each of us and knows our thoughts. And God will pay us back for what we do.” (Proverbs 24:11-12--Contemporary English Version) Since 1973 when two women, prompted (some might say, used) by their activist radical women’s rights attorneys, challenged laws prohibiting abortions and won[1], nearly 50 million unborn and nearly born babies have been killed. That is nearly 16% of the current population of the United States.

“I Stood Shoulder to TV with the Paris Marchers”

--Satire Scorched by a firestorm of universal criticism for his abject failure to stand shoulder to shoulder with scores of world leaders who met in Paris to protest the murder of 17 reporters and others by several radical Islamists, President Obama did what he normally does in such situations: he called his friend, confidante and media advisor, Hugh Betcha Ace Reporter for Stoos Views Media Conglomerate and runner for the Mighty Canada Free Press. Hugh, winner of the 2014 “Most Admired Christian Reporter” award by CAIR and “Caucasian Reporter We Would Most Like to Hang With, 2014” awarded by the Most Reverend Al Sharpton Foundation for the Promotion of Racial Harmony, a reporter respected by both sides of the aisle in Congress, was there, as usual to ask the incisive questions.

Sharpton to head new Federal Agency: The Hate Department

-Satire In addition to his clerical duties guiding the moral and religious life of Americans, the Most Reverend Al Sharpton has been elevated to a cabinet level position in a new agency created by his friend Barack Obama, whom the good Reverend has visited over eighty times during Obama's tenure.

The Christmas Candle

Candle wicks, like memories, flicker faintly at times, and burn brightly at others. Dickens could have been writing about my father, William Christian Stoos, when he said of Scrooge that he knew how to keep Christmas well. Dad was the Spirit of Christmas in our household. Each year he anticipated the holiday with a childlike glee. Although a stoic man, and deeply spiritual, he became a child at Christmas time--his favorite time of the year.

A Clear, Cold Night

Copyright © 2004 William Kevin Stoos Some say that Christmas is too secular, that the glitter, music, gifts and family dinners are really not what the holy day is about. They hold that the Baby Jesus has been forgotten in the cacophony and confusion of commercial Christmas. They say that it is only about the birth of Christ. Everything else, they say, is a distraction or, even worse, sacrilege. Others say Christmas is not a holy day, but a day for family, friends, and presents--that Jesus was an historical figure, whose life should not be celebrated any more than the birth of Gandhi, or Mohammed. They believe we should not say "Merry Christmas." We should, they say, celebrate "Winterfest," or "Winter Solstice" instead. They argue that talking about or singing about Christ is not politically correct. They want a politically and religiously sanitized civil holiday that inspires no one and therefore offends no one.

The Simple Faith of Humble Men

(Originally appearing in the Manchester Union Leader) “Thus out of small beginnings greater things have been produced by His hand. And as one small candle may light a thousand, so the light here kindled hath shone to many. Let the glorious name of Jehovah have all the praise.” (William Bradford, Governor of Plymouth County, 1621)

When the Jobs Fairy Visited My Business

I am unsure how a woman who has never started a business, who is famous for being married to Bill Clinton and who has had a fairly undistinguished career as a public servant could be so wise about business matters, but I tip my hat to her. People scoffed when she dared to speak the truth earlier this week that: "Business does not create jobs." [sic] But I am a believer.

Alison Grimes promises Job Fairs, for unemployed Kentucky Coal Miners after she is elected

--SATIRE Alison Grimes--the anti-coal Obama supporter who has twice refused to simply admit that she voted for the now-toxic President Obama during the last two elections--called Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha to clarify her positions on the future of coal in Kentucky and her race to the finish against Mitch McConnell for his Kentucky Senate seat.

The Obamas to Greet Incoming Passengers from West Africa!

--Satire --A HUGH BETCHA EXCLUSIVE In the face of overwhelming public sentiment that a travel ban should be imposed on incoming flights from Ebola-plagued West Africa in order to protect Americans from this killer disease, the President has decided to double down on his adamant refusal to consider such measures to protect his own citizens.

Is Turkey Chicken?

Years ago, I deployed to Germany with the First Infantry Division and thousands of other troops from the United States and its European NATO allies to participate in REFORGER (Return of Forces to Germany). These were war games designed to demonstrate to the Soviet Bloc that an invasion across the Fulda Gap would be met with a powerful response from the alliance and that the allies were prepared to commit substantial forces within a short time to repel such an invasion.

The Obamas to Adopt Illegal Alien Children, Liberal Democrats to Follow Suit…..

-Satire Reeling from withering criticism from both the Left and the Right for his lack of leadership and solution for the influx of illegal alien children from Mexico and Central America, the President called his friend and longtime confidant Hugh Betcha to announce a solution to the immigration problem on the southern border. Hugh, Ace Reporter for Canada Free Press and Chief of the Immigration News Bureau of the Stoos Views Media Conglomerate rushed to Foggy Bottom to meet his friend in the Oval Office. Hugh, winner of La Raza’s “Most Trusted Caucasian Reporter, 2014” award, and man with unlimited access to the White House, settled back in his favorite overstuffed chair to listen to his friend.

Why Obama will never understand Netanyahu

--Satire: Another Exclusive Hugh Betcha Report It is no secret that the President of the United States and the Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, don’t hang out. In fact, they appear not to like each other very much. This is unfortunate because—whether Obama likes it or not—Israel is our most trusted and important ally in the Middle East. Perhaps it is our only real ally in the Middle East. Although the friction between these two allies is palpable and widely reported in the press, no one has ever answered an important question: “Why?” Until now….

Eric Holder Investigates Excrementous Crimes Against the Monarch

Just when you thought it was safe to tow an outhouse float in a small town Nebraska parade which poked fun of President Obama by labeling it the PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY [sic] you find yourself the object of a federal investigation by Attorney General Eric Holder who, like his boss, has no apparent sense of humor.

National Peanut Growers Association Saves Washington Redskins Franchise!

--Satire Senator Harry Reid, who once famously called President Obama "a light skinned African American who does not speak with a Negro dialect" [sic] has spearheaded a senatorial effort to force the Washington Redskins franchise to change its name and logo.

Were JFK and Obama Really from the Same Party?

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” —John F. Kennedy “What can Uncle Sugar give you?”—Barack H. Obama

Doctors Discover Harry Reid's Problem: Born Without a Personality Senator to Undergo Transplant...

--Satire Struck by another Tourette's-like outburst which led him to refer to some Nevada ranchers as "domestic terrorists" during the Government's Operation Desert Tortoise, Senator Harry Reid recently sought admission to the Walter Reed Emergency room in Washington, D.C.

The Shroud of Turin—the Fabric of Our Faith

From the book The Woodcarver and Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration “Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails and put my finger into the print of the nails and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.” --John 20:25

EPA to Regulate Cattle Exhaust, Farm Dust, Chicken Condos

-Satire Hugh Betcha, Ace Reporter for the Stoos Views Media Conglomerate, Canada Free Press, and winner of the 2014 "Environmental Reporter of the Year" award by The Al Gore Burning Planet Foundation, received a tip from his deep throat source inside the EPA that a new and far reaching set of environmental regulations was about to be imposed on the farming industry by the Feds.