by Paul albers
January 19, 2005
The battle over same-sex marriage is partly about setting the standard used to determine a couple's fitness to marry. Just the fact that there is such a thing as a fitness test shows that a legally recognized marriage is a privilege, not a right.
There is no such thing as a fitness test to quality for a human right. If you attempt to create a fitness test for speech you have censorship, create a fitness test for the right to live and you have eugenics. With privileges, the opposite is true: a standard must exist and if you don't meet it, you have no claim.
Because legal recognition of a marriage is a privilege, the government is free to set a standard that excludes marriages between close relatives, children, groups of three or more persons, and other arrangements unacceptable to the moral standards of Canadians. Since the Supreme Court didn't mandate same-sex marriage, the government still has the right to exclude same-sex individuals from marriage.
Excluding same-sex couples is frequently denounced as discriminatory, but all standards discriminate. The blind are not allowed to drive cars, the Canada Pension Plan treats people differently depending on their age, separate change rooms at the gym for men and women is segregation based on gender. In each case, the discrimination is justified because of fundamental differences that relate directly to the privilege being sought, and so it is with excluding gay couples from marriage.
The proof that homosexual and heterosexual relationships are fundamentally different lies in the fact that virtually every person in the world prefers one type over the other. There can't be a strong preference for one kind of relationship unless they are different, and the difference isn't hard to point out.
Men and women are equals, but still very different creatures. History and every form of entertainment are filled with expressions of frustration and bemusement over our difficulty in understanding the opposite sex. People usually find it far easier to build up a circle of close friends of their own gender than to bridge the gulf between the sexes just once. Forging a bond with a person of the opposite sex that is stronger than all other relationships is nothing short of miraculous. although homosexuals also have to face relationship challenges of their own, they do not have to confront and overcome the basic differences between the sexes, resulting in a different kind of relationship.
another fundamental difference lies in the total lack of reproductive ability in every homosexual couple. When a man and woman decide to marry, they must confront the issue of raising a family and come to some agreement about how many children to have, when to have them, and other related issues. It cannot be avoided since the commitments made at marriage preclude any attempt to reproduce with another person. If they cannot agree, the wedding will probably never take place. Even if they still wed, it is unlikely to last unless someone changes their mind since these matters are fundamental to the relationship. Homosexual couples can chose to become life long lovers, but the whole dimension of having children together is absent from all homosexual relationships.
Heterosexuals have no Charter right to legal recognition of their relationship so why should homosexuals? The state extended legal recognition and some privileges to marriage to implement a social policy, not because the Charter demanded it. If the government wanted to withdraw those privileges, it could do so, although the wisdom of doing so is questionable. The rights of a homosexual should not be different than the rights of anyone else.
When it comes to privileges, homosexuals should not be discriminated against in areas where sexual preference is irrelevant, but the elementary differences between gay and straight relationships are relevant to marriage and justify limiting marriage to heterosexuals. The main argument for enshrining same-sex marriage as a human right boils down to the fact that they want it, and they claim that being denied it makes them feel slighted.
Couldn't they just as easily choose to see their relationship as too ‘progressive' for marriage? as a group they are famous for annual parades flaunting how proud they are of being different, so why can't they be proud of this difference too? ‘If you really accept me, you'll give me what I want,' is the kind of emotional blackmail that adults shouldn't fall for, and it certainly isn't what defines a human right.
This is not just about deciding what the definition of marriage should be, though. It is a decision about who gets to choose the moral core that defines what is considered a human right. Will it be the courts, the Prime Minister, or the citizens of the country? If marriage is declared a right, must it then be opened up to any and all relationships or can it still have a fitness test attached to it? What then about other rights, could they too have fitness tests attached to them?
Judaeo-Christian values have been the moral foundation for our society since before Confederation, not because someone forced it to be so but because it was the will of the majority to uphold those values. It is our right as citizens to decide together if the moral foundation of the country should change, but it is a right we will have to win from a government that considers us to be their subjects.
Paul albers is a freelance columnist living in Ottawa
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