by arthur Weinreb, associate Editor,
January 18, 2005
The youngest son of Prince Charles caused quite the little stir when he showed up at a private party wearing a Nazi uniform, complete with a swastika armband. The picture of Heir Harry that was splashed across the cover of the Sun also showed a cigarette dangling from his royal left hand. There was a lot of uproar caused over Harry’s apparent desire to glorify Nazism, but hardly a peep anywhere over the fact that the little prince smokes.
Sarah Ferguson, the former Duchess of Pork until she discovered Weight Watchers and the wonderful world of TV commercials, thinks that her nephew should be cut some slack. and she’s not the only one who rushed to the royal court’s jester’s defense. Excuses were made that "he’s only 20", no doubt by some Canadians who think that 17-year-olds should be put to death for writing graffiti. It doesn’t seem to matter that at 20, Harry is older than many of the Britons who died fighting the Nazis during World War II. Even though some of these excuses don’t wash, perhaps it is time to move on.
There were two reasons why Harry wore that Nazi uniform to the party. The first was that the Gestapo uniform was too small. The second was that Harry is just plain DUMB. It never occurred to His Royal Idiotness that someone with a cell phone camera might snap a picture and sell it to a tabloid for say, 10,000. He then apologized "if" he offended anyone. If? It can be taken as a given that there are holocaust survivors and war veterans that he did insult. The fact that he’s not sure is proof positive that although he knows people are upset, he hasn’t got a royal clue what his donning of the uniform meant. It’s no wonder that Prince Daddy doesn’t want him to apologize publicly; the whole world will then know for certain how grey-matter challenged his youngest offspring is.
and it’s not like Harry’s the first in his dysfunctional German family to pay homage to the Nazis. Many members of the Royal Family hung out with adolf and the boys during the 1930s. The Duke and Duchess of Windsor visited Hitler and apparently the Fuhrer had the Duke all picked out to head Britain’s government after it fell to the Germans. Prince Michael of Kent’s father was an SS officer. and according to This is London, Prince Phillip was only allowed to invite two guests to his own wedding, lest all of his Nazi and Nazi sympathizing friends and in-laws were to show up and dominate the event. So Harry is hardly the first in the family to feel a kinship with Hitler and the Nazis. Poor Harry is trying to rebel against the older generation, but if he only knew how much like them he really is.
and let’s face it, how many people have the Nazis killed lately? Not many. No, the great killer in the 21st century is not Nazism but second hand cigarette smoke. We know this for a fact. after all, if this weren’t so, Toronto would have signs posted in restaurants advertising the fact that they are Nazi-free. and Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty would be introducing legislation to ban Nazis in all public places. No, smoking is much worse than being a Nazi in today’s politically correct society. and yet His Royal Dullness gets a pass when he’s caught holding a lit cigarette. Do these royals truly have no shame?
We all know that everyone who attended that now infamous party will eventually die from Harry’s second hand smoke. If it were anyone else that was involved they would be ostracized. But not Harry. His smoking doesn’t even warrant a mention.
When the Sun first published Herr Harry’s picture, where were all the anti-smoking zealots? Where were the physicians for a smoke-free universe? The simple truth is that these groups love the limelight and with Harry’s Nazi uniform, they wouldn’t get the publicity that they think they so richly deserve. If they can’t be front and centre while they preach their doom and gloom scenario, the anti-smoking crowd prefer to remain silent.
Harry’s major problem is that he has too much time on his hands. He needs a job. Perhaps he should come to Canada and become Governor General after adrienne Clarkson’s term expires. Okay, so we would have to keep him in booze, cigarettes and grass. But that would be a lot cheaper than paying for Clarkson’s caviar and circumpolaring. at least Governor-General Harry would never go cirumpolaring; he wouldn’t even know what it was.
We can only hope for the day when Prince Harry will be able to be referred to as Harry: the smoke-free Nazi.