By John Burtis
Friday, January 6, 2006
I'm always amazed at the things you can get used to and live with. The leaky chimney which requires a bucket and the wet vac when it rains. Or the broken seat which requires an explanation whenever you have passengers in the car.
It's sort of like that with the Democrats, who persist in claiming that Bush and his use of the NSa to monitor calls and e-mails to al-Qaeda's assorted motherlands, is a totally unique activity and a violation of the privacy of the guys convicted for their terrorist links. Even though Jimmy Carter, the Nobel Prize winner and the overseer of the ballot stuffing carried on by left-wing dictators under the guise of free elections, authorized the same activities in an executive order he signed in 1979, and Bill Clinton, the media darling and neophyte millionaire, signed a similar order okaying an even larger NSa ether sweeping in 1995.
Now don't get me wrong, Carter had some Islamic problems, what with the grabbing of the hostages in Iran and all, while Bill Clinton had problems in Oklahoma City and elsewhere. and their orders are buttressed by the opinions of none other than Jamie Gorelick, a member of the 9/11 Commission and the architect of the infamous intelligence "wall."
So with all of this in mind, and with the facts of the intelligence meetings with Congress on the record, and spelled out so very clearly by Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-MI) in a recent Fox News interview, why is it that not a single solitary Democrat can recall any of the past activities of Carter and Clinton and their legality, while at the same time they are able to define exactly same activities taken by President Bush, for our protection after 9/11, as illegal?
Perhaps there's something big at work inside the beltway. I suspect hanky-panky on a massive scale, and I've included a few possible scenarios accounting for the Democratic behavior, which is so at odds with the reality inhabited by a majority of americans.
Trauma induced amnesia may be playing a part in the massive loss of memory being experienced by the key members of the party in opposition. While no accidents involving all the major players have been reported, such a circumstance can't be ruled out, especially when viewing and listening to the hallucinatory distress of Howard Dean and John Kerry. a quick look at their pupils would be key, and enable us to see if they are unequal and unreactive. Perhaps their bus ran off the road while on a field trip to Senator Byrd's house to view his memorabilia. Or worse still, maybe an escalator froze up with everybody aboard. You can imagine the carnage.
Malnutrition can also cause amnesia, but I've gotta' tell you, I don't see anybody with a lean and hungry look when a sizable progressive sashays up to the microphone to condemn Bush, belittle america and damn our troops. Nope, it looks like every major league Democrat has just finished brushing the crumbs from their tailored suit after a major chaw and glutch, all washed down with a fine Chianti or a brace of double appletinis.
Maybe they all have encephalitis. Though I suspect that a level of this viral disease necessary to cause mass amnesia is pretty remote when we view the ages and the relative health of the leading Democrats. But you never know. They do troop off all over the place searching for american perfidy and failures and they could have picked it up somewhere along that lonely trail, inhabited primarily by dictators..
Dementia is also distinct possibility. These poor folks have been exposed to rarefied air, multiple gas bags with similar outlooks, extreme halitosis of the spotless minds, and numerous varieties of rubber chicken for many years, all of which have been shown to have a deleterious effect on the cerebral cortex, with an accompanying decline in motor reflexes.
Sleep gas of the type used by the Russian Speznaz troops when they took down the Chechen rebels in the Moscow theater in 2002, can't be ruled out and may be surreptitiously pumped into Democratic Senate and Congressional offices, with an especially large aerosol cloud reserved for Harry Reid, John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, and Chuck Schumer, by persons unknown. Slightly smaller doses may be pumped into Congressman John Murtha's and Senator Byron Dorgan's offices. Because the gas causes massive amnesia and strange autonomic behavior, an extremely large draught was probably administered to Senator Clinton, because she has totally forgotten about her husband's use of the NSa's Echelon and Carnivore programs during his administration even as she condemns President Bush and turns her back on New York City by vetoing the Patriot act. These fumes obviously affect visiting reporters and journalists, cloud their writing, while rendering facts meaningless.
Is it possible that some new band of merry pranksters have infiltrated the Capitol and laced the high-end designer bottled water commonly used by the liberal big-wigs with some sort of lysergic acid diethylamide? You know, acid? This particular trick, used by such liberal gad-fly's as Ken Kesey back in the bad old 1960s, was often administered in large doses as part of a prolonged series of "hijinx" by some group of cut-ups or other. Perhaps there's a similar pack on the loose in the hallowed Democratic halls, juicing up the top permissives.
Maybe there's a mass UFO brainwashing going on. It has often be theorized that UFO abductions are not limited to just the yokels and hayseeds in the Red states. In fact close encounters of the third kind are now viewed as a Blue state phenomenon as well. Who knows, perhaps Nancy Pelosi was abducted and alien experiments account for her permanent smile, her off-beat behavior, and transient forgetfulness. Lately, she has begun to harp on the controlling legal authority for the NSa program, a clever change in tactics, and a perfect implanted copy of al Gore's erudite quip about his own alien fund raising antics at the Buddhist temple.
I'm not a physician, so I can't render a medical opinion. But regardless of the cause, some sort of mass hysteria, coupled with selective blindness and amnesia, combined with a dose of the sniffles about controlling legal authority, is gripping leading Democrats. and I'm not sure what the cure is.
But if I was a doctor, I'd recommend a long term job with a moderate income, a home on a street with other working folks, a few relatives in the military, a modest bank account coupled with an occasional fear about making ends meet, and a court order barring lobbyists, NY Times reporters and Hollywood types from visiting. Or maybe electric shock therapy.
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