When I was a freshman in college, my roommate explained that it was a common practice in Puerto Rico to take the tired vegetables from home to the Saturday movie matinees in order to hurl them at the villains, the bad actors and bad eggs on the silver screen.
Today, I'd love to do a bit of rough traveling and toss a few sad and sorry vegetables at the New York Times, the Washington Post, and CNN, that is, of course, before they totally disappear from the wildly animated progressive scene.
There's been a lot of really bad news lately for the big three liberal tribunes, what with Moody's Investment Service's deft body blow to the Times on their long term debt and their increasing concerns about the industry, Media Life Magazine's St. Patrick's Day skirling about the declining readership afflicting the Post and the sinking paper's recent flurry of pink slips to some 10% of its reporters and editors over the upcoming annum, and the recent announcement that Gallup--a partnership long viewed as the P.T. Barnum's modern Chang and Eng pantomime--is severing their close relationship with CNN.
and curiously, even as the good ship SS Washington Post takes on water, floundering more obviously, as her stern settles, as her list becomes more pronounced, as the lights go out one by one, as the captain hollers nonsense from an empty bridge into a plugged speaking tube, as flares arc into the moonless night, while the rapidly thinning crew trades fisticuffs with the readers for the remaining spots on the limited number of quality paper lifeboats, as the presses fall silent, as the darkness grows and the public backs away, Scott Swett reports from WinterSoldier.com that the paper is still cheap jacking sediment about that deleterious John Kerry introduced preposterous Winter Soldier nonsense that so defamed our soldiers back in 1971.
For some reason, despite the man overboard call, the Post clings to this ridiculous, foolhardy and totally trumped up series of allegations of bizarre war crimes by seditious farceurs with the same tenacity and death grip that Mary Mapes and Dan Rather clutch the sodden worthless counterfeit paper describing the inventive fictional exploits of President Bush found in a margarine tub at a Texas rest stop.
The Post clutches this story tightly, despite, as Mr. Swett reports, “that after more than 34 years of investigation by the US Military, historians, researchers and journalists, not one of the war crimes alleged by the VVaW during the “Winter Soldier Investigation” has ever been proven to be true.” Of course, in true liberal fashion, Mr. Swett's immediate letter to the editor following their story was never published, no doubt due to its decidedly factual nature and its rather tough stance on the patent absurdities promulgated by the solstice patriots. and the Post is surprised that nobody reads their truck?
and poor CNN, what a shock the sudden and abrupt departure of Gallup must have been to the long suffering slow pitch progressive hurlers, the flap doodle rollers, the DNC proselytizers, the twin Clinton boosters, the mud slingers, the Democratic advertisement runners, the Republican bashing disguised as news worthy tidbits, the-sky-is-falling economic purveyors, the housing boom busters, the Don Rumsfeld lie detectors, and whatever else they do at CNN beside report anything having to do with the truth.
So Gallup is gone, off to partner with aOL and USa Today, a newspaper that seems to be surviving, despite their open liberal bent, courtesy, from what I can see, of their availability at airports, under motel room doors, in hotel lobbies, in surviving train depots, on amTrack, and in the magazine racks associated with the shoe shine stands in downtown areas in the major cities. USa Today can also be found in the seat pockets in airlines, where they have been overlooked by the clean up crews in the hubs and connectors.
But uniquely, Gallup noted, as part of their hang-up call to the most trusted name in “news,” that CNN was only netting them 200,000 viewers. So my question is this--who the hell is watching CNN? It appears to be the folks stuck at the airports due to fog, snow, ice storms, air traffic slow downs, union problems, labor strife, brush fires near the runways and what have you, folks at the bus depots and people who believe in al Gore.
There have also been rather heady rumors that mourning clothes, black veils, black overcoats, black ties, black top hats, black satin bands for the upper sleeves, bowlers, derby's, black cordovan shoes, black stockings and hosiery, black pumps, and black haberdashery in general is flying off the shelves in the upscale boutiques in the liberal conclaves scattered across the blue states in preparation for the upcoming outpouring of grief when the final closure of these prophetic mouthpieces takes place. The death watch has begun on aM talk radio.
There's also been some talk around the studio's water coolers, the parking garages, the dry cleaners, the hair parlors, the top toupee and Top Cover merchants, the local Starbucks and even the New Jersey Orange Julius outlets that many of the advertisers on CNN are now writing their costs off as donations--just as there are accompanying stray bits of gossip that CNN is trying to incorporate as either a 527 committee or as a 501(c)3 outfit. and if the latter, send in your dough.
What are the happy go lucky iconoclast Larry King, the nearly as perky as Katie Couric Paula Zahn, the rabidly honest except when forced to be an utter auto-didact Wolf Blitzer and the wild and wantonly progressive yet relatively honest anderson Cooper to do if the faltering hiccupping staggering stumbling CNN, now denuded of Gallup, should belatedly and finally collapse?
and now, the rattle of the ticker tape now brings us the pitiable news that the New York Times has suffered another near fatal wound for the second time in less than a week. This explosion has resulted in the summoning of additional doctors and surgeons to patch the crumbling reputation, another round of psychotherapy for the reporters and pressmen, a call for the return of the diminutive Pinch and his flatterers from their travels in the New England Gulag and another black eye for the pitchmen in this liberal carnival of hoaxes.
Well, the Times was suckered again, after the latest “journalist” expended a thousand words or so on the heart rending plight of yet another Uriah Heap-like flim-flam artist, who was just arrested for grand larceny and welfare fraud. Luckily, the Times, isn't out a whole lot of traveling money for swallowing this big mouthful of fakery, since the feckless and dumbfounded author only journeyed by cab to Queens to grasp the survivor and shake the story loose before the cops applied the cuffs and brakes to the whole degrading episode. Sadly, besides failing to verify any part of this epic poet song of doggerel, it also illustrates liberal journalism today--no heavy lifting in getting the story. a lugubrious fish story about Katrina in Queens is far better than a real story from New Orleans.
Things are fading fast for the mainstream media and they're under an incredible amount of pressure. and instead of the dump this week, I'm heading out with the vegetables before it's too late. But now, I'll use the media's example--no heavy lifting. It'll be a better story if I tell everybody that I went, tossed the squash and tomatoes and got away, clean--but stayed safely at home and just dreamed.
Pursuant to Title 17 U.S.C. 107, other copyrighted work is provided for educational purposes, research, critical comment, or debate without profit or payment. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for your own purposes beyond the 'fair use' exception, you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. Views are those of authors and not necessarily those of Canada Free Press. Content is Copyright 1997-2024 the individual authors. Site Copyright 1997-2024 Canada Free Press.Com Privacy Statement