“It sounds like they're targeting al Gore, David Gregory and al-Qaeda.”
One of the first things that the Hitler regime did after assuming power was to halt the horrifying americanization of the German language which began to take root with horrifying rapidity along with the increased and noisome bleating of the dreaded jazz, the appearance of zoot suits, pork pie hats, and outlandish jewelry in the late 1920's. a concept like Realit‰t, an exact knock off to what passes for our reality, would henceforth be known by its old German word - Wirklichkeit, a far less easy term on the tongue, but oh, so Deutsch, and not so da-da. and all the other cognates of a similar nature were ordered to follow suit.
and so it has been in France for many years, with the official dissing of troublesome nouns like le drugstore and une auto, with the same stigma, upturned noses and the rolling of eyes applied to their haphazard use by fumbling, often american, tourists using outdated Baedeker guides, and the strict institution of the official nouns - to halt the dangerous slide towards anglo slang first noted in the haphazard, hippie infested and student plagued 1960's patois and signage - la droguerie and une voiture. France would be for the French, as would Quebec, parts of the central Pacific where France tests atomic weapons, in the fine print on passports and wherever the Foreign Legion was called in to quell the problematic tribes who boil up from time to time.
Mr Jacques Chirac, feeling a bit like Louis XIV, “The Sun King” - who had famously termed himself King of the French, everywhere they might be found in the world by divine right, and not merely the King of France, as his predecessors had done so sheepishly - felt he was the President of the French and not simply of France. and as such, he had greater responsibilities to fulfill than other Presidents who had come before him. and with these infinitely more pressing matters of state, Mr Chirac felt he needed a bit better way to broadcast his accomplishments throughout the world for all, especially those bothersome and boorish americans, to see and hear, and in his mellifluous native tongue, than had previously been available.
and so, a few years ago, apparently around the time of the 2002 elections, though the exact date is lost in the Gallic love of fine wine and food and poor record keeping, Mr Chirac decided that he would initiate an immense 24 hour a day French news operation, CII, a “CNN a la francaise,” to be broadcast “en francaise,” to rival CNN, the BBC and al-Jazeera - all of whom had gotten his goat a number of times over their misunderstanding of his motives and methods, especially the BBC and their British sense of fair play and their endless coverage of cricket, badminton and the Queen, to say nothing of their past fawning over that Thatcher woman.
But setting up this magnificent enterprise was not without growing pains, according to Expatica. First there was an extreme shortage of the francs needed to build the complicated enterprise, as the Foreign Minister, Mr Michel Barnier explained in July, 2003, “…there is no money.”
Suddenly, in a bold about face three weeks later which kited a number berets from a few balding heads, Mr Barnier exclaimed that the project would move forward, “…in the battle of images…our country must be present,” he went on jauntily, “…the goal set by the president…should be maintained.” The apparent cost of this undertaking, Barnier cautioned, would amount to a quick 85 million US dollars a year for five years to get this baby up and running the way Mr Chirac envisioned it. Somewhere, somehow, the money was found but the delays continued, problems cropped up, difficulties emerged, keeping Mr Chirac's critical points of view, and the sacred honor of France off the air for quite some time.
CII's original format called for high power broadcasting of French and arabic into africa, India, the Middle East, Central asia, Northern Europe and - whoa - New York City. and it was to employ about 150 journalists and would be run by the French foreign ministry in order to get the proper perspective on world events woven into the broadcast skein. Now call me soft, but I don't know that much of an audience for these two languages exists in Central asia or India, let alone New York City, but we'll give Mr Chirac and Mr Barnier credit for big ponderous ideas and a penchant for concocting large budgets.
Then the whole huge enterprise moved undercover for years until it plopped into view like a breaching whale last week with a shocking and disheartening report from news.nabou.com. It now appears, contrary to all the bluster and promises from Mr Chirac, that the long awaited thumbing of the aquiline French nose at CNN, the Gallic broadside at perfidious albion and the waving of the Tricolor flag at pestilential al-Jazeera will be done in - English. Yep, with just three or four hours of francaise out of the daily 24.
and this heady dose of bad news falls at the same time as the anniversary of Nelson's victory at Trafalgar, the remembrance of Napoleon's poisoning by the English, the bad memories of the withdrawal of all British fighter planes from the continent at the height of the Battle of France, Henry V's cry of havoc and his unleashing of the dogs of war, Churchill's sinking of the French fleet in Mers-el-Kebir without so much as a how do you do, the leaking of benzene into the sacred waters of Perrier and the difficult public relations battle, just a few short months after the Izod clad and cologne soaked Muslim youths burned a few thousand voitures around the well lit arrondissements, and during the latest riots where the college students shouted “non” by the hundreds of thousands to the latest laws which might get them fired from jobs which were sinecures for life a few short months ago. No, Mr Chirac has found that governing France while setting up a new French news agency that'll broadcast in English has been a real pain in the derriere.
Look what poor Mr Pierre Paoli, the key grip and gaffer to CII's director was quoted as saying, “It could be half in English, half in French or a different proportion. We are hardly committing high treason.”
But his exuberant high calorie defense of the big-ticket undertaking was immediately countered by Mr Marc Fave d'Echallens, from the association of the Defense of the French Language, who fumed, “If all we get is a poor man's version of what is already available, what is the point of doing it at all?” Send in the eclairs.
So, after all the ballyhoo, the remonstrances, the long slow debilitating process, the toning down of Mr Chirac's grand all encompassing vision designed to broadcast his legacy and his vision across the entire planet, who is the final target of this colossally expensive English speaking French enterprise? an operation which flies in the face of the trenchant Gallic opposition to all words, signs and conversations with contain the slightest hint of the dreaded l'anglais?
a spokesman for CII puts it all in perspective. They have decided to pursue - with the full panoply of state broadcasting power, driven by the people and the treasury of France, directed by the foreign ministry, produced under the watchful eye of Mr Chirac - “…opinion formers, journalists and people who travel a lot …”
It sounds like they're targeting al Gore, David Gregory and assorted al-Qaeda operatives.
CII is slated to pummel the airwaves in December of this year.
Hello Piccadilly.
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