Don't worry, I'm not going to drag out the true meaning of illegal immigration and how it'll make the blind see and the lame walk.
Be happy, however, that some of our weightier masterminds, our grander geniuses are doing that for all of us, as they continue the build the weighty case for open borders and the need for untold millions more illegal immigrants to clot our shores--and without even being asked for their portentous opinions.
Not long ago it was Hurricane Katrina Vanden Heuvel who calmly, though the rationally end of things may have been missing or lost at sea or whatever, proffered that illegal aliens are the backbone of this nation of three hundred or so millions and that this core support of our system is found in their mowing of our lawns and in the baby sitting of our children and oh, my God, what would we do without them.
and Katrina, well, she's a Princeton graduate, has solid aCLU credentials, and has written relatively important treatises which can't be counted without the aid of an electronic calculator cooled in liquid Nitrogen and has been on all the talk shows and has verbally dueled with the best of them like, well, high-brow brilliant thinkers, meatball cutters and spaghetti rollers like Chris Matthews, so we know she's tip-top.
So the ground work is laid by Katrina--that the illegal immigrant is the cornerstone, the foundation, the very epicenter, the rock of Gibraltar, the hardpan of bedrock, the defining infrastructure, the inner-workings which make our country tick, the tap root of our salvation, the underpinning of our edifice, the aBC's of our ingles--at any rate the well spring of our success in the modern world and, well, the capstone of our economic miracle.
Then, not to be out done, and feeling like he's been asleep on the back burner for quite awhile because he has been, pillow and all, Barney Google's brother Howard Dean, the grandiloquent mummer of hot steaming hogwash, has seen fit to drag his own mystical version of history into the growing farce.
Mr Dean, in an all too rapid effort to ballista himself back into the fight and dressing too hastily to drag his Thesaurus into the fray, committed an overt act of plagiarism when he stole one of the main stream media's most cherished and finest adjectives--recently used by every known talking head, every raggedy assed pundit, most every heavily brow-ridged dufus on CNN and a relatively large percentage of those claiming to be card carrying progressive liberal cognoscenti--"scapegoat." a word once used to describe Mr Brown of FEMa fame and never to be used again without garnering the opprobrium of the kingpins.
Yup, Mr Dean averred that Mr Bush, despite the President's wildly atavistic attempt to throw america to the dogs and make aztlan the 51st state as well as freshly minting citizens for a few short grand, is somehow, in this all too heady mix, "scapegoating" our benighted, Hurricane Katrina approved, southern interlopers--a claim so utterly outlandish on its face that it defies all meaningful descriptions.
Mr Dean, as he is prone to do, has turbulently amalgamated Mr Bush's approval for other Republicans' re-election with the formation of nonsensical far-right cabal for the dissemination of illicit, carnal and divisive rhetoric about the evils of illegal immigration and shoe horned it all together with the suppositional aversion to the University of Michigan's affirmative action "project," the propensity for picking on the homosexuals, the known Republican penchant for the dumping gray water back into pristine brooks and rivulets with a grander all encompassing plot spearheaded by an unknown aide to Tom DeLay, whom he'll reveal at a later date.
With this handy bit of solid evidence in mind, knowing that the illegal alien population is both the backbone of our nation as well as its scapegoat, we move on to Mistah Mayah, Hizzonah, Mr Michael Bloomberg of New York City. a man, for the most part, not usually given over to the babbling of sheer ludricrous tommyrot--a job, in all fairness, usually reserved for Mr Howard Dean and Senator Ted Kennedy, as a result of their long records of achievement in this valuable Democratic arena.
But Mr Bloomberg was able to get a bit heavy handed on april Fool's Day, a rather bad day to fill a pool with eyewash, when he launched into a heady remonstrance about the limitless value illegal aliens provide to upscale Country Clubs--especially to their fairways and greens, and getting awfully close to trampling on the private turf of Ms Vanden Heuvel.
Mr Bloomberg, continuing on his WaBC-aM roll, went to explain that there were other, equally vital areas, where the illegal alien made the economy bustle, much as Cab Calloway made music sizzle or Jimmy Carter crafts fiddle sticks in his carpenter shop. Hizzonah explained that, according to his own invaluable statistics, 25% of all farm workers were illegal and that many of them were also home health care workers.
Your honor, if they're all undocumented, how do you know? But, like Ted Kennedy's preposterous quote in the Senate where he said that 98% of all illegals are law-abiding or some such nonsense, there is no way of knowing, because the whole randy roving band is--undocumented, and that's the problem.
Isn't funny how the bill collectors and the IRS can't find the undocumented, but they sure as hell can find each and every one of us.
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